Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Callista Gingrich will be the ambassador to the Vatican. She'll have to give up her current job: ambassador to crazy vampire owl people

“The Washington Post” reports Donald Trump provided classified information to Russian diplomats. It could be worse. No. Actually, that’s almost as bad as it gets.

In Florida, a group of parents were upset to see a video of their children twerking and lap-dancing in class. How could they forget to teach the kids pole dancing?

Conrad Hilton was in jail for stealing a car, Donald Trump gave classified information to Russians and it is coming up on the 130th anniversary of Doc Holliday’s death. The worst week in history for people with their names on hotels.

Melania Trump announced they will include the White House movie theater on the tours. Playing right now is the Russian classic, “Dude, Where’s My Czar?” 

Sen. Mitch McConnell would like less drama from Trump. You’ve heard the expression “He has to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral”? Donald Trump has to be the rectum at every colonoscopy.

Since you asked:

Tuesday was - in the words of a senior White House official - the worst day of Donald Trump’s presidency. And that is a president who had a day he had to fire the head of the FBI to keep him from investigating a video of Trump getting peed on by Russian prostitutes. 

Tuesday had to be one hell of a day.