For me, this sums up why Hillary lost the election

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down the pants, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



An all-nude cruise ship is leaving from Florida to Mexico. An all-nude cruise ship with retired people who like a midnight buffet just doesn’t seem like a good combination.



In San Francisco, a kinky porn studio in the Mission Armory building is closing down. The owner will rent it out as office space. Pending a black-light inspection. 

To make an easy transition from sadism and masochism to a work place, they will lease it to the IRS.



A man with an 18-inch penis has been offered a role in a porn movie. So good luck with making “The Alex Kaseberg Story.”



In San Francisco, a famous kinky porn studio is closing. It’s tough when a porn studio has to close because they couldn’t get it to come together in the end. 

An angry Duke coach, Mike Krzyzewski, banned his team from their locker room. Just like the women’s high school volleyball coach did to me. 


Since you asked:

Besides what we all know is better, is there anything better than that warm, creamy, buttery feeling that melts all over your brain when you know you’re tired and about to fall asleep? 

I've gone two days without coffee.

And my medal is . . . where? 

Going without booze is easy. Went a month without this summer. Going without coffee is like fasting. It is not natural.