Thursday, October 13, 2016

Who could have possibly imagined, a month ago, Ken Bone would be doing better with the babes than Donald Trump?


****
An LA judge issued a 5-year restraining order for Kendall Jenner against an obsessed fan. Of course, Donald Trump denied the stalking accusations. 


****
Did you see that speech in Florida where Donald Trump denied the groping charges? That Trump guy can do an amazing Alec Baldwin impression.



****
Bob Dylan won a Nobel Prize for literature. This will be the first Nobel Prize acceptance speech with captions. 


****
Donald Trump implied the “People” reporter, Natasha Stoynoff, who accused Trump of groping her, was not attractive enough to grope. So to be clear, Trump only sexually assaults hot women. 


****
Chris Christie said Donald Trump’s comments to Billy Bush were indefensible. But for some reason Christie did not find the comments hard to swallow.


****
In Santa Barbara, thieves robbed a donut shop of $700 in broad daylight. It was a brazen hold up considering the high chances a policeman would be there. 


****
On “Fox News,” former Red Sox pitcher, Kurt Schilling, attempted to defend Donald Trump’s comment about dating a ten-year-old girl in the future. It did not go well. By the end, Schilling was bleeding from his sock. Or from someplace. 


****
Toronto Maple Leaf rookie, Auston Matthews, scored four goals in his first game. This guy scores easier than Ken Bone in his red sweater.