Remember the good old days when two guys misbehaving was called grab ass? 

Get woke to joke okie doke, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It’s time decide on a Halloween costume. This year you cannot go wrong with a slutty Lester Holt. Moderate on this. 

“BuzzFeedNews” is reporting Donald Trump walked in to the dressing room of the Miss Teen USA pageant in 1997. Some of the girls were 15. That is creepy even for the Billy Bush bus Trump.

The Chicago Cubs came from three runs behind in the ninth inning with four runs to beat the San Francisco Giants 6-5. The Giants bullpen blew up so much, they looked like they were sponsored by Samsung. 

The Chicago Cubs came from three runs behind in the ninth inning with four runs to beat the San Francisco Giants 6-5. For the Giants’ bullpen it was the worst collapse that did not have an audio tape with Billy Bush. 

Billy Bush fired from “Today” show. It will be interesting to see if Donald Trump hires him. That’s right Trump could grab Bush.

In 2005, Donald Trump fired contestant Maria Kanellis off “Celebrity Apprentice” for engaging in potty-mouth, locker room talk. Trump was so appalled by her talk, he did not even feel like grabbing her pussy.

Scientists have discovered a new dwarf planet near Pluto. Right now it’s called UZ 224, and the rumor is not true, they are not going to rename the dwarf planet Kevin Hart.

Kim Kardashian was photographed coming out of a Paris restaurant with see-through pants that revealed she was not wearing underwear. The good news is the thieves clearly did not steal her Epilady shaver.

You could almost see her Kanye.

Kim Kardashian was photographed coming out of a Paris restaurant with see-through pants that revealed, well, where Trump would grab her.

In Florida, Donald Trump urged people to vote on November 28th. Upon hearing this, Hillary Clinton said, 

“You Trump voters listen to your candidate.” 




Donald Trump said he does not believe the concussions in the NFL are real. Well sure, that's easy for someone to say who wears a helmet 24/7. 

Since you asked:

My NFL sources are telling me that the 49ers dangled the starting job carrot in front of Colin Kaepernick  to get him to rework the injury clause in his contract. They are still furious at Kaepernick for screwing them out of tens of millions two years ago by the sneaky-at-best way he handled his injury. This is how they can get rid of the injury clause to cut him or trade him.

Nothing to do with the National Anthem. 

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in a debate looks like a spelling bee where Hillary is spelling the words they give her, but Donald Trump refuses and just spells words he knows, like “Awesome,” "China," “Huge” and “Bigly.”

It is hard to determine a winner because they are not playing the same game. Trump doesn’t back anything he says up with facts. He just spouts bumper sticker phrases, sniffs loudly and pompously changes the subject. And then lurks around like the old pervert mall cop trying to cop a peek into the women’s dressing room. 

Trump has gone off the reservation. The gloves are off and he is in a death-spiral. Unless he finds something “Billy Bush on a bus” about Hillary, this election is over and Trump needs to crawl into his spider hole. 

And yet nobody I know, except for one or three liberal die-hards, is even slightly excited about voting for Hillary Clinton. 

Let us name the time between the last bitter-sweet sip of coffee in the late morning and the first heart-and-soul glowing sip of wine in the early evening as “The Lonely Precipice.” 


Call me the cliche eternal optimist Cubs fan, but this really feels like the start of a golden time for the Cubs. This has been a magical season. 

But the Cubs do have a lot of time off and that is not good for a team that goes in streaks. Washington would be the far tougher opponent. Either way, it is going to be a great NLCS.