Coincidence is the last refuge of liars and thieves, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

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Kim Kardashian was robbed by two masked gunmen in her Paris hotel. The only thing the police have to go on is the selfie Kim took with the gunmen. 

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Supreme Court Justice, Stephen Breyer, cast doubt on Kim Kardashian’s jewelry theft implying it is an insurance fraud. “How dare you accuse us of fraud?” Yelled the masked gunman Kanye West hired. 

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Kim Kardashian was robbed by two masked gunmen in her Paris hotel. Upon hearing this, Donald Trump called for a wall between France and the US.

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Tonight is the VP Debate between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine. “Thank goodness there are no football games to distract us,” said not one man in the US.

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Let’s review, shall we? Kim Kardashian was robbed by masked Paris gunman of $10 million in jewelry she kept in a minimum security hotel with no security cameras. If I hear Ryan Lochte is somehow involved with this, I am going to be pissed. 

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Barry Bonds was fired as the Florida Marlins hitting coach. It did not go well. Bonds got angry, turned green and ripped through his shirt and most of his pants. 

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Hurricane Matthew is growing as Florida and South Carolina brace themselves. South Carolina is storing water and building sand bag walls, Florida is putting their meth in ziplock bags. 

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In a “Fox News” interview, Eric Trump said Mike Pence was governor of Illinois. Pence is the governor of Indiana. In his defense, Eric said all those I states are the same, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Island of Hawaii. 

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The Indianapolis Colts cut Antonio Cromartie after he gave up a the losing touchdown. Cromartie is famous for having 13 children with 8 mothers. So this will be the second time Cromartie was cut too late.

Since you asked:

Maybe it is imaginable it is justified for someone to be so rich they have to wear $10 million dollars in jewelry. Maybe. But then maybe don't take pictures of your $4 mil. ring and post them on Instagram constantly. 

Traveling to Paris with $10 million in jewelry and just happening to stay in a hotel with no guards and no security cameras? At a no-named hotel known for giving famous people anonymity, masked gunman magically appear at their door and, unlike most hardened and violent criminals, do no physical harm? I'm no detective, but wouldn’t most criminals brazen enough to steal $10 million in jewelry simply eliminate a witness?

At the very least, an inside job by someone turning on Kim and Kanye. 

Like a wise man once said: Coincidence is the last refuge of liars and thieves.