Ryan Lochte said he wants to take a mental break. Listening to him talk, that shouldn’t be a problem. 

Michael Phelps smokes pot and eats 10,000 calories a day. So the only difference between Phelps and T. J. Miller are 22 lousy gold medals.  

Simone Manuel became the first African American woman to win a gold medal in Olympic swimming. “Ground breaking” said Michelle Obama. “Historic” said Oprah. “I want to see her birth certificate,” said Donald Trump. 

The cover of “Time” features a drawing of a melting Donald Trump and the word “Meltdown.” How bad is it? People in Chipotle are making Donald Trump jokes.

JetBlue is reporting 24 people had to be hospitalized following turbulence on their flight from Boston to Sacramento. The rest of the 140 passengers were charged a $100 Hospital Avoidance Fee. 



Donald Trump repeatedly accused President Obama of founding ISIS. Then he said he was being sarcastic, now he says he is serious again. Even a door can only come unhinged once. 



Donald Trump repeatedly accused President Obama of founding ISIS. Then he said he was being sarcastic, now he says he is serious again. Donald Trump reminds me of that incredibly annoying kid when, as soon as he is about to get tagged, yells “Not it.”