A study shows obesity causes more memory loss than previously thought. When asked if this was a factor in quitting the presidential race, Chris Christie said, “What presidential race?” 

The corrupt head of soccer, FIFA, has appointed a new president, Giani Infantino. On opening day he will throw out the first bribe. How corrupt is FIFA? The only time the soccer officials are allowed to use their hands is when they’re stuffing bribes down their pants. 

Hillary Clinton defeated Bernie Sanders by so much in South Carolina it is being investigated as elder abuse.

After fracturing her knee on Saturday, Lindsay Vonn came back Sunday to ski and extend her lead in World Cup points. So, fellas, along with Ronda Rousey, that makes two women in the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit edition who can kick our asses. 

Ted Cruz hinted that Donald Trump’s tax information has ties to the Mafia. Apparently the Mafia made Trump a coiffure he couldn’t refuse. 

After fracturing her knee on Saturday, Lindsay Vonn came back Sunday to ski and extend her lead  in World Cup points. Her knee hurt, but then she compared it to dating Tiger Woods and decided a fractured leg is not that bad.

After fracturing her knee on Saturday, Lindsay Vonn came back Sunday to ski and extend her lead in World Cup points. She fell during a snowstorm that was so white, it  could have been nominated for an Oscar. 

Leonardo DiCaprio is the sentimental favorite to win best actor. He has the three factors needed to win: A, he has been nominated before, B, he had a demanding performance in “The Revenant,” and, C, he is whiter than the smorgasbord at a polka festival.