Saturday, July 11, 2015

Brigadoon, Saskatoon, cartoon, bag a balloon, at about noon, take it to Troon with a tune from a loon, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Confederate flags are going down faster than the price of Bill Cosby’s appearance fee.

Paula Deen is in racist hot water again this time for posting a Twitter picture with her son, Bobby, in brown face. Rough time for Paula, her back is still sore from having her Confederate flag tramp stamp removed.

Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by a major teacher’s union. Asked to comment, Bill Clinton said; “I like teachers. If you don’t do it right, they make you do it again.”

A Florida woman was shot in the leg and did not realize it until days later. Florida: Discovering new uses for Meth everyday.

Since you asked

There is a motion in the House to revoke Bill Cosby’s Medal of Freedom.

You want to hurt Bill Cosby where it will hurt? Have the University of Massachusetts at Amherst revoke his doctorate in education.

Dr. Bill Cosby has been throwing his alleged doctorate in everyone’s faces since he got it under false pretenses. (Personally, I believe, unless you can save a life or prescribe medicine, you do not get to use the title Dr. No Dr. titles for non-medical doctorates. 
That means you, Dr. Phil)  

UMassA made a deal with the devil. They told Bill Cosby he could receive a doctorate because they would use his time producing an educational show, “The Electric Company” and apply it to a phony doctorate for the under-educated and egomaniacal Cosby – he flunked a grade in high school, dropped out of high school and never graduated college -  in exchange for an endless amount of free publicity for UMassA.

Having the University of Massachusetts at Amherst strip Bill Cosby of his doctorate would be the closest thing we will ever get to raping him while he’s passed out on Quaaludes.

Taylor Swift honors the US Womens soccer team on stage in New York. This right here why Tay-Tay McSwizzle be so awesome.

I’ve gotten hooked on “The Next Food Network Star” and there is a great contestant named Arnold. Arnold is so gay, now that gay marriage is legal, he could marry himself.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Donald Trump said if his daughter, Ivanka, was not his daughter, he would be dating her. As a result the state of West Virginia is cutting ties with Donald Trump.

In a related story, I have to go "Silkwood" shower until my skin is raw. 

Singer Ariana Grande was caught on camera saying; “I hate America.” “I hate Americans.” Why do I picture that scene in “Ghost” when the screaming shadows come up and carry away Ariana’s career?

Singer Ariana Grande was caught on video in a donut shop licking a trey of donuts and saying; “I hate America.” She verbally abused Americans and ruined donuts. Police have issued an APB to shoot her on sight.

An Israeli was arrested for hacking into Madonna’s computer. Madonna’s 56. All he found were cat videos and all the customer help numbers she calls.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

Every Picture Tells a Story, Donut

In a donut shop security video, after licking donuts, Ariana Grande, was caught saying; “I hate America. I hate Americans.” To give you an idea how bad the backlash against Ariana is, Starbucks announced they’re replacing the size Grande with the size Trump.

Coming soon is the Ariana Grande and Natalie Maines “We Hate You, But Buy Tickets” tour.

Two NFL players have incurred serious hand injuries in fireworks accidents. See, the instructions say:

“Hold the firecracker, light the fuse, then release the firecracker.”

Folks, this is when dyslexia can become life-threatening.

Since you asked:

Can honestly say I never liked Ariana Grande. She always reminded me of a yippie, lap-dog version of Kristen Stewart.

Let me get this straight:

Super Bowl winning quarterback legend, Kenny Stabler, (RIP) is not in the Hall of Fame. But no-Super Bowl winning receiver, Andre Reed, is?

That sucks.

Don’t get me wrong, Andre Reed was a great receiver . . . who never won a Super Bowl. And he happened to be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of a Hall of Fame quarterback, Jim Kelly. Somebody had to be. It happened to be Reed.

To give you an idea how many great receivers there are who never won a Super Bowl who should be in the Hall of Fame, you could put two named Gene Washington in ahead of Reed. 

And from what I have heard, the two Gene Washington’s are nice to fans.