“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” made $517 mil. world wide. They’re already working on the sequel aimed at aging baby boomers: “Star Wars: The Force Needs to Take a Nap.” 

Republican South Carolina Senator, Lindsay Graham, is dropping out of the republican presidential race. This came as a shock to his supporter. 

Lindsay wants to spend more time with his cats

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” made $517 mil. world wide. In a related story, Radio Shack just renamed itself Radio Shack: The Force Awakens.

Steve Harvey named the wrong winner in the Miss Universe Pageant. It’s worse than you think. He said the winner was Miss ISIS. 

Forget Chris Rock hosting the Oscars, it should be Steve Harvey. “And the Academy Award for best actor goes to . . . Adam Sandler for “The Ridiculous Six.” 


Since you asked:

OK, "SNL," here's another one to use: start this joke off with Colin Jost and have him throw the punchline to Michael Che:

Colin:
Actress Katherine McKee said, in 1974, she came to Bill Cosby’s Detroit hotel room with barbecue ribs, Cosby threw the ribs aside and raped her.  Michael?

Michael:
“Come on. Everybody knows a brother would never throw away ribs.”