Donald Trump claims to have many Muslim friends. When asked to name a Muslim friend, all Trump could come up with was “Yabba Dabba Do.” 

Look For This NFL Play, Because It Will Happen:

The QB throws a ball to the wide receiver for a four-yard catch, but the receiver drops it when he is tackled by the safety. 

The refs call interference on the safety and holding on the receiver when there is neither interference nor holding on the play. 

Both players jump up frantically to argue the call and hit heads. Both are flagged again for helmet-to-helmet contact and have to be taken out of the game for concussion protocol. 

Because of a bad spot, the play is challenged and reviewed for five minutes while the network cuts to a five-minute FanDuel/Geico/Nationwide/DIRECTV/Papa John commercials, all starring someone from the Manning family. 

One of the strangest headlines I’ve seen in a while is the “TMZ” story where, during the filming of “The Revenant,” Fox Studios denies Leonardo DiCaprio was raped by a bear because the bear is female. The bear, however, has retained feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, and is suing DiCaprio for sexual assault. 

Bill Cosby could not be reached for comment. 

Even Charlie Sheen is all: "I've been around, but I have never had to deny being raped by a bear."