You’re not going to believe this, but one of the assistants here at a.L.b.B. has been leaked the seven upcoming features on the iPhone 7.

1, It has been rendered virtually unbreakable.

2, It cannot cause an automobile accident.

3, It cannot be lost or stolen.

4, All of the myriad functions and apps have been streamlined into one easy-to-use function.

5, None of your information can be hacked.

6, It is free. You only pay for the service.

And the most amazing new feature:

7, It needs no recharging. 

Ladies

And

Gentlemen, 

Introducing 

The

Amazing

Upcoming

iPhone 7