Friday, June 20, 2014

After six-years where they were almost unbeatable, Spain has come under harsh criticism following their World Cup loses. In short, the reign of Spain ended mainly with disdain.
(To which my fellow comedy writer, Janice Hough added; “And blame, and blame”)

In the World Cup, Italy was upset by Costa Rica, 1-0. How can you expect Italians to do well in a sport where they can’t use their hands? They can’t speak a word or walk past a pretty girl without using their hands.

The mayor of the wealthy Los Angeles suburb of San Marino, resigned after a security camera caught him throwing dog poop on a neighbor’s yard. Otherwise known as a white person’s drive-by.

The reigning World Cup champions, Spain, is out after losing to Chile, 2-0. California Chrome co-owner, Steven Coburn, is furious because Chile did not have to run in the Derby or the Preakness.


Former “Jersey Shore” reality star, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was arrested for getting in a fight with his brother at a New Jersey tanning salon. We’re not sure what the fight was about, but we’re pretty sure it wasn’t over the crisis in Iraq.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014




Happy Hatching Day for my snake brothers, Mark and Bill (belated). May the road rise to meet where you slither. 



The mayor of the wealthy Los Angeles suburb of San Marino, resigned after a security camera caught him throwing dog poop on a neighbor’s yard. Otherwise known as a white person’s drive-by.


World Cup Update:

Just watched Chile destroy the reigning champs, Spain, 2-0. It featured a lot of what US sports fans dislike about soccer. Lots of flopping, lots of fake injuries. Spain was playing badly until it was down 2-0 and then Spain played like a bunch of teenage girls who would rather be at the mall. Flouncing, pouting, whining.

No lie, if I was on the Spanish Futbul Commitee or whatever it is called, I would freeze paychecks and launch an investigation. It is one thing to get out-played and out-hustled, but these guys flat out quit their jobs right on the field. 

The World Cup is proving, once again, that alleged experts do not know diddley squat bupkis. If you had said Spain would not make it out of their group and it looks like the US could, they would have laughed in your face. 


Tuesday, June 17, 2014


At the US Open, golfer Erik Compton finished tied for second. Compton has had two heart transplants. He has had three hearts, that is three more than Tiger Woods.

In Florida, a 450 pound man was arrested when police found marijuana and cocaine hidden in the folds of his stomach. Or as Florida calls this: a typical Father’s Day game of: find the drugs in Daddy’s fat.

A Florida woman (of course) was arrested for trying to smuggle seven lobsters down her pants. She thought it would be a nice change from the usual crabs that were down there. 

Hillary Clinton claims she and Bill were broke when they left the White House. She said they barely financed two multi-million dollar mansions. Do you get the feeling Hillary’s concept of broke is like Bill’s concept of fidelity?
She said they barely financed two multi-million dollar mansions. That’s not broke, Hillary. Broke is when you kept a dead cockroach handy to sneak on the pizza so it would be free.

A Brooklyn Bar held the World’s Smallest Penis Pageant. The winner of the World’s Smallest Penis Pageant has the second worst title only to al Qaeda’s second in command. 

Since you asked:
In these hip and ironic times, you can find lots of folks who can get snarky about anything.
Nobody, and I mean nobody has anything but great things to say about Tony Gwynn.
When Ricky Henderson got on the Padres’ bus, Tony Gwynn told him:
“Sit anywhere, Ricky, you’ve got tenure.” 
Ricky replied;

“Oh, T, you know Ricky got 15 year.” 


I'm not a lawyer, but . . . 

Pretty sure the US Patent office cannot cancel a trademark just because they don't like the name. What if they decided they didn't like the name Nike, or Ford?