A man was pronounced dead and a day later tried to kick his way out of his body bag at the funeral home. This has been a rough time for Jay Leno.

It was windy and rainy in Southern California. It was so windy and wet in Santa Monica it blew a straight male into a movie theater showing “Endless Love.”

How bad is the Los Angeles Lakers season? On Twitter, Kobe Bryant has un-followed all of his teammates. Even worse, he invited all of them to play Farmville on Facebook. 

Since you asked:

With all the spotlights on the weird and complex world of the NFL locker room thanks to Michael Sam coming out and the Richie Incongnito/Jonathon Martin bullying scandal, Hollywood is screwing up an amazing two times on the funny Dan Jenkins’s book “Semi Tough.” 

Along with “North Dallas Forty” the book managed to capture the funny and ridiculous world of the NFL locker room with humor and insight. Unlike “NDF”, “ST” was not made into a decent movie. In fact, the movie with Burt Reynolds and Kris Kristofferson is a blueprint on how Hollywood can take a sure thing and ruin it with short- statured stars,* giant egos and sand dunes of cocaine.

For my money the cast should star Matthew McConaughy as running back Billy Clyde Puckett and Tatum Channing as Marvin “Shake” Tiller. They are the Butch and Sundance of the NFL. Jennifer Lawrence as Barbra Jane Bookman. And be sure to cast Rob Riggle, Chris Platt, Rob Cordrey and Hayes McCarthur. All funny and all believable as NFL players.

Go, Hollywood, get on it. Now.

*Despite being one of the great Hollywood screen writers, William Goldman, (“Princess Bride”, “Butch Cassidy” and “All the Presidents Men”) admits to being like the rest of us in his fascination with movie stars in real life. In order he is fascinated by their height (or lack of height) their hair (or lack of hair) and if they are lying about their sexual preferences. As I have it on unquestionable first hand authority, Burt Reynolds hits it hard on all three. Reynolds is officially listed as 5.11 but our friend assures me that is with lifts and cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.