Friday, November 29, 2013
When I was a kid, my Chicago Bulls had a center, Tom Boerwinkle, R.I.P., who was 7ft tall and could not dunk on a ten-foot rim. After playing two hours of football wearing about 20 pounds worth of pads, 6 foot zero - maybe - Drew Brees scores a running touchdown and then dunks the football over the 10 ft crossbar.
We be stylin', they be smilin', Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
On “Today” Kanye West said he and Kim Kardashian are like Romeo and Juliet; oh my word, does this mean they are going to take poison together? It is a holiday miracle.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Here is my Thanksgiving present for you. To correct the world's most useless sports play, the kickoff. Keep the players taking off on the 35, but move the kicker back to the 25.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
79-year-old Charles Manson will marry a 25-year-old girl named Star; you’ve heard of a “May to December” romances? This is a “May to Until he Kills You in a Conjugal Visit” romance.
This time of giving thanks, it is important to remember the message Clarence the angel gave George Bailey, no man is a failure who has friends . . .
Unless, of course, you have the kind of a friend who, when he comes over, always has to take a deuce in our downstairs toilet? Or when you invite him over for dinner, he comes two hours late and drunk with two other drunk strangers he met while playing cards after golf? And one of them served time in prison.
Or how about the kind of friends who are adamant you save them tickets to the charity comedy show you're producing, and then don't show up without bothering to call to cancel? How about three times in a row?
You know what? Screw those people. Why? Because they all suck, that's why. They could not suck more if they had rubber lips. Bastards. Bastards all.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Celebrities Read More Mean Tweets - 100.7 Jack FM San Diego Radio & DSC- sandiegojack
Charles Manson, 79, is engaged to a 25-year-old named Star; if you want to get the couple a present, they're registered at Bed, Bath and Depends.