Last time that bear ate a lawyer he had the runs for two weeks,
Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Yankee Alex Rodriguez furiously stormed out of an arbitration
meeting; he wanted to slam the table with his fist, but, since it’s the fall, he swung three
times and missed.
It is the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s
Gettysburg Address, but historians do not agree on which of five versions is
correct. Personally, I think the shakiest version is the one that starts out;
“Four score and seven years ago, for shizzle my bizzles.”
There is a viral video of 78-year-old golf legend, Chi Chi
Rodriguez, hitting a ball off a sign that then hits him. Where did it hit him?
Let’s just say it narrowly missed his Rodriguez, but it hit his Chi-Chi’s.
The Oxford Dictionary has named selfie the word-of-the-year
edging out twerk; asked to comment, a USC English major responded; “OMG, it is
like all totes amazeballs random how effed up the English language is, whatevs,
If it was up to me, we take Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford, and Miami
Dolphin alleged bully, Richard Incognito, and throw them both in a closet with
one deep-fried turkey leg; whoever comes out alive is in charge of Obamacare.
The latest Kanye West video features his naked wife, Kim
Kardashian, on a motorcycle; I think the name of the song is: “Why Our Baby Will
Have to be in Therapy For Life.”
Chris Brown – still on probation for brutally beating his
ex-Rihanna – got kicked out of anger management rehab after he threw a rock
through his mom’s car window. Call me crazy, but I am starting to think Chris
has temper issues.
Final thoughts on JFK assassination
Regardless of political beliefs, you have to admit the Kennedys
gave us, as a Nation, a huge source of pride. It was like having Brad and
Angelina in the White House. The problem with the death of optimism is it can
drive you crazy with “What if’s?”
The Civil rights advances under Johnson would probably have been
Kennedy’s. With the bitter taste of the Bay of pigs still in his mouth, it is
highly doubtful Kennedy could have done worse than Johnson in Vietnam. Nobody
could do worse.
Forgot for now all the conspiracy theories, there is no doubt
Oswald shot Kennedy. How could such a worthless,
useless, pathetic piece of crap kill the most powerful man in the world?
Normally a strong dose of perspective is a good thing. Not in
this case. For 50 years we have had a serious case of: if a loser like Oswald
can kill a man like Kennedy, what is the point of anything?
When I told my 15-year-old daughter about my memories of
Kennedy’s death, with my mom sobbing during the funeral, she said she had the
same memory of September 11th. She was also an upset toddler with
her parents standing in front of the TV, hands over mouths uttering “Oh my god”
over and over again.
Here's hoping her baby won’t have a similar memory.
And here is my final question: why won't history and Americans admit the truth that when Jackie saw Jack's gory head shot, she was trying to get the hell out of there?