The New York Giants are 0-6 and the San Diego Chargers – the team Eli Manning shunned in the draft – just beat one of the top teams, the Indianapolis Colts, and are in the playoff hunt. The Chargers have to look to Eli like the girl you dumped in high school who shows up all hot and sexy at the 10-year high school reunion;

“Oh, hi Eli. You look . . . the same. Have you met my husband, billionaire investor Dirk Riprock? We have to run, our Leer Jet pilot gets so impatient when we’re about to fly to our little island in Fiji. Ciao.” 

Bob Costas thinks the Redskins should change their name. That's great and all, but I am going to wait to hear what Dick Vitale thinks. 

Michael Douglass first said he had throat cancer, then he said he got throat cancer from oral sex, now he said he didn’t have throat cancer, he had tongue cancer. This is why god invented publicists. 

According to a survey, 25% of men admit they have watched porn online; oh, come on, guys, whom are you kidding? More than 25% of men are watching online porn right now.

Actor James Franco got in serious trouble with the law as a teenager including being named a ward of the state: “I’ll take the least shocking news I’ve ever heard,” for $500, Alex.” James Franco looks exactly like every juvenile delinquent in suburban Chicago. He looks like a relative of Adam Baldwin who was a juvenile delinquent in my neighborhood.

James Franco and "Animal Mother" Adam Baldwin. (No, not those Baldwins) Two formerly serious juvenile delinquents. 

Since you asked:

Our big-time moviestar friend, Faran Tahir, is starring in "Escape Plan" with Ahhhhnold and Sly.  He is listed in the credits right next to Jim Caviezel. Got that? He's next to Jesus. Are they going to have captions for Ahhhhhhnold and Sly? 

 The great comedian, Louis C.K. has a new bit he says he calls “Of course, but maybe.” For example: of course children with peanut allergies should be sequestered at their own table with a special menu and medicine at the ready.

But maybe if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to be dead.

So I decided to try it out.

Of course if a ship is sinking, you save the women and children first.

But maybe they should have an age limit. In my mind, a 19-year-old man should go ahead of a 90-year-old woman.

Redskins

Let’s be honest. If a Native American casino decided to buy an NFL team and name them the Pale Faces, would anyone give a rat’s ass? Not I, said the freaking duck.

My flag football team, when I got to San Diego, was named; 

“That had to be in the butt, Bob.” 

Taken from the greatest answer ever on “The Newlywed Game” for the question; 

“Where is the strangest place you and your wife have made whoopie?”

Now that is a name. 

My incredibly awesome cousin, Jack, died this year at an amazingly youthful, vibrant and fit-looking 52. Jack was a diehard Washington Redskins fan. He loved everything about them with the lone exception of their owner, Dan Snyder, whom he despised.

Jack would have taken to his bed if they changed the name, history and legend of his beloved team, the Redskins.