We so gonna so gonna, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

An Indiana sewer worker discovered a Civil War cannonball; it is even signed by Civil War Brigadier General Larry King.

A 21-year-old Chicago man was arrested in Florida for soliciting a prostitute on his wedding night; apparently he had that old seven-hour itch.

O.J. Simpson made an appearance in court; O.J. now stands for obese and jaundiced.

A 21-year-old Chicago man was arrested in Florida for soliciting a prostitute on his wedding night; this guy makes the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries marriage look good.

Detroit Lions receiver, Titus Young, was arrested three times in one week; or as the Cincinnati Bengals call that: one week.

Kobe Bryant is suing his mother for selling his memorabilia; Thanksgiving should be fun at the Bryant house. “Could you pass the potatoes to my child I bore who is suing me for selling an old t-shirt?”

There is a Viagra commercial where a guy with an old truck is camping by himself on the beach and his lighter doesn’t work so he starts a bonfire by scraping his knife against a rock. Are they trying to market to guys too stupid to use the truck’s cigarette lighter?

A 21-year-old Chicago man was arrested in Florida for soliciting a prostitute on his wedding night; how much money is this guy going to spend on anniversary presents?

OJ Simpson is in court looking bloated and fat; all my life I wanted to have a build like OJ Simpson. Now I do. Life sucks. 

Since you asked:

There is a good reason doing something differently generally sucks.