In case you fixin’ to ponder, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

49-year-old Jamie Moyer is in the Colorado Rockies starting pitching rotation; you can tell Moyer has lost some velocity; when he tries to bean a batter, they pick up the ball and say; “Excuse me, Sir, did you lose this?”

You can tell Moyer is getting up there. When a batter charges the mound he yells; “You punks get off my lawn.”

Have you seen the viral video of the drunk in the police car belting out Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”? He was facing a charge of drunk driving, now he is looking at the death penalty.

49-year-old Jamie Moyer is in the Colorado Rockies starting pitching rotation; you can tell Moyer is getting up there. They clock his pitches with a sundial.

You know how pitchers wear those magnet necklaces? Moyer’s is a Medic Alert necklace.

Since you asked:

Yesterday I perfected what I call The Lex “I Don’t Want To Workout” Workout.

You know the drill. It is about five o’clock and you talk yourself into thinking it is too late to work out. Maybe you’ll go to the store and start dinner? Maybe you’ll have a cocktail or a glass of wine?

To that I say oh to the hell to the no.

Go nuke that last leftover cup of coffee, swig it down and march up and down your staircase for ten minutes hard. Jog if you feel great, walk fast if you get tired, but don’t stop for ten minutes. Then jump rope - off and on - for ten minutes.

Bam, twenty minutes of good cardio that is easy on the legs and starts a good sweat.

Then it is two sets X 12 of dumbell bicep curls super setting with military curls. Then ten minutes on the indo board or some type of balancing ball with three sets of ten squats included.

Finish off with one minute plank and stretching.

There you go. 35 minutes that included aerobic, lifting, core workout and flexibility.

Boo shang to the bing bang, Slats and Nuggs, boo shang to the bing bang.