Thursday, February 09, 2012

Tear drops on the city, Bad Scooter searchin’ for his groove, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A company in Chicago has made a beer that tastes like pizza. And the beer really does taste like a pizza down to the aftertaste of sorrow and regret.

The Super Bowl broke the record for most viewers with over 166 million watching; to put that in perspective, 166 million is more people than Madonna, Lady Gaga, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have slept with combined.

A company in Chicago has made a beer that tastes like pizza. Great news, guys, now you can drink a girl pretty and skinny while you get fatter and uglier.

The Super Bowl broke the record for most viewers with over 166 million watching. To put that in perspective that is 166 million more than watched Paris Hilton’s show “The World According to Paris.”

An attractive 25-year-old British woman has two vaginas. This explains why she is the world’s first 18.

Rick Santorum won three primaries in Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota. Apparently the only three states where you can’t Google Santorum.

Jack in the Box has come out with a bacon milkshake. Jack in the Box is right, nothing will jack you up and put you in a box faster than a bacon milkshake.

A “Funny or Die” video claims 20-something males have to choose between being a ‘Bro or a Hipster. A ‘Bro wears baseball hats, low-riding boarder shorts and is always drinking beer out of a red plastic cup. A Hipster wears wool hats, thick black glasses frames and skinny jeans. We had ‘Bros and Hipsters when I was in my 20’s, we just called them different names: Dicks and Jerks.


Since you asked:

In a just world toddler beauty pageants are illegal and the people who run them and the parents of the contestants should be charged with child abuse.


This Bros and Hipster phenom reminds me that all generations had an element of doucheism. When I was at UCSB, I was generally very proud of my fraternity, Sigma Chi, and most of its members.

But a select few of the younger guys would sit in a row in class, with their carefully coiffed 'do's with frosted tips (no they weren't gay) their pink Polo shirt with the collars turned up (nope, still not gay) reeking of Polo cologne, khaki shorts and white Top Siders and wearing their Varnet sunglasses. (now that I think about it, yeah, they were gay except that they slept with women)