Tuesday, August 09, 2011



This right here at McCovey Cove was where my tuchus was paddling on a cold, windy day.

Boogie with Stewie-dogs, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The rating service, Moody, said, even though we passed the debt ceiling, they may still downgrade our bond rating. Moody? They’re downright bitchy.

In New Jersey, they arrested a woman working at Dunkin’ Donuts who was doubling as a prostitute. Trust me, you don’t want to buy the glazed donuts there.

A Colorado man had a hotdog on his truck’s antenna for ten years. The hot dog was ten years old. Or as New York hot dog vendors said; “Yeah? So what?”

Residents of Washington, DC are the biggest cocaine users. This brings new meaning to the term: political blowhards.

Apparently there were lots of line items they didn’t veto.

The #5 party school is University of California at Santa Barbara.. Gosh, I wonder why? Put 20,000 attractive 18-21-year-olds at the beach on their parent’s dime and UCSB makes the Playboy mansion look like a monastery.

UCSB is the only school whose bookstore sells back-to-school condoms.

MTV is 30 years old. To show you how old I am, I can remember when the Music Television actually had music on the television.

Now, instead of Music Television, they show episodes of “Teen Mom” and “Jersey Shore.” In fact, MTV now stands for Mindless Television.

The rating service, Moody, said, even though we passed the debt ceiling, they may still downgrade our bond rating. Bond ratings go AAA, to BBB, to CCC. Our bonds? CRAP.

The rating service, Moody, said, even though we passed the debt ceiling, they may still downgrade our bond rating. The bond rating would go from AAA, down to AA. AA means you’d have to be a drunk to buy them.

“Soul Surfer” is out on DVD. It’s the true story of a girl, Bethany Hamilton, who loses her arm to a shark but still becomes a professional surfer through courage, faith and hard work. What a crappy sports story. Where are the steroids? Where are the DUI’s? Where are the lockouts?


Since you asked:

What a great weekend in NoCal. Mustang soccer tournament in Walnut Creek/Danville and our girls were amazing. They tied last year’s National champions and beat two other great teams.

Fun dinners with the awesome soccer families, one was at a great place in Walnut Creek called Jack’s. Killer fish and chips.

Sunday I rented – for lack of a better word - a stand up paddle board and paddled to McCovey Cove. This alleged stand up board was really a kayak, made out of orange hard plastic, that you stood on. Tippy isn’t the word. If an Indo board was that tippy people would die using them.


Somehow managed to navigate all the sail boats and ferrys and stayed up and out of the 50 degree water in the 25 mph winds on a cold, foggy day. What an experience, though. Scary, but fun. A local kayaker showed me a way to sneak through the pier through this dark, creepy catacomb of pillars and pipes rather than paddle all the way around the open bay where the break water stops and stand up paddle boarders go to die even when not on a tippy plastic cork.

To give you an idea how cold and windy it was, there were only two other kayakers out and one prone-paddle boat. And only one idiot stand up paddler who was yours truly.

Paddled for 1 ½ hours walked for 2 1/2 hours. No trouble sleeping Sunday night.

San Francisco is an amazingly great city. And the folks there get a bad rap for being snotty. For my money they were nice. Much nicer than the folks here in Carmel Valley. Hip, true, but nice. And those are some rabid Giants fans. Those folks love their team. Granted they just won the World Series, but, being a Chicago Cubs fan, I know true die-had fans when I see them.

I know the goods when I see them and them Giants fans are the goods. Had some awesome oysters and a Fat Tire beer at a bar on the water by AT&T.

Had a-three- shrimp cocktail at the bar at Morton’s in Union Square. The shrampy-shramps were the size of my friggin’ head. And I gotta huuuuuge-ass head. So tasty.