Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Yah got’s a know what you got’s a do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

India has made the cheapest car, the Tata Nano, which costs $2,000. It’s aptly named Tata Nano, you take a woman on a date in this and you won’t get a Nano-second on her Tata.

Fans of Harry Potter have begun playing the game quidditch on college campuses pretending their brooms really fly. And you thought the guys in the chess club didn’t get laid?

CNN anchor, Don Lemon, has announced he is gay. Good for him, your move, Fox’s Bill O’Reilly.

Fans of Harry Potter have begun playing the game quidditch on college campuses pretending that their brooms really fly. And here’s the best part, college women: these guys are single.

India has produced the world’s cheapest car, the Tata Nano, which costs $2,000. It is so stripped down the GPS device is your nagging mother-in-law.

India has produced the world’s cheapest car, the Tata Nano, which costs $2,000. It is so stripped down the CD player is a kazoo on a string.

Fans of Harry Potter have begun playing the game quidditch on college campuses pretending their brooms really fly. Not all college campuses, just the ones where guys don’t ever get laid.

Our relationship with Pakistan is tense. In fact, on Facebook, our relationship with Pakistan went from complicated to downright Meat Loaf and Gary Busey-like.

The bad news is I was talking to this nice girl, just a friend, but she suddenly gave me the old phony; “Sorry, my phone is dying” brush off. The worst part? We weren’t talking on the phone.

Everyone knows the Osama bin Laden raid was accomplished by that awesome Navy Seal Team Six? Guess who just patented the name Seal Team Six? Disney. Great news, can’t wait to watch “The Suite Life of Zach, Cody and Seal Team Six.”

Fans of Harry Potter have begun playing the game quidditch on college campuses pretending that their brooms really fly. “Gosh, thanks for the offer” said a USC student, “But I’ll have sex on the roof with a babe instead.”

Lady Gaga became the first person to break 10 million followers on twitter. And that ends today’s story you parents will never understand.

“Don’t let that crazy meat-wearing bitch beat me,” tweeted Justin Bieber.

Guess who is now on twitter? The Taliban. OMG, like Akmed totally flirted with Haseem’s camel. WTF?

Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together on twitter. Gosh, what could possibly go wrong here?

Details of the Navy Seal raid on Osama bin Laden are emerging and let’s just say the raid did not go as smoothly as expected. At one point one Seal yelled at the other Seal for stealing his mother-effing sponges.

Luckily for the Seals, Osama was too busy watching porn to hear them come in.

First John Edwards had an illegitimate child with a staff member, so did Arnold Schwarzenegger, and now one of France’s top politicians, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, is in jail for raping a maid. If politicians are not careful, people are going to start thinking they’re sleazy.