Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Neighbors are eavesdropping on the newly retired Oprah. Here is a list of the top ten things heard coming from Oprah’s house:

#10 “Stedman, get out of that ratty bathrobe and stop playing Xbox.”

#9 “Did you know we had an exercise bike? I didn’t know we had an exercise bike.”

#8 “When the hell is that cable guy going to show up?”

#7 “Hey Stedman, I’m about to bet ten million dollars in this online poker game, what is higher, a flush or a straight?”

#6 “If it's that load Dr. Phil, tell him I'm not here."

#5 “Dammit, Cruise, for the last time, stop jumping up and down on the damn couch.”

#4 “I am not paranoid, I’m telling you I hear Navy Seals out there.”

#3 “So which is a better deal, renting Disneyland or buying Disneyland?”

# 2 “We give Stedman how much for his allowance?”

And the number one thing heard coming from Oprah’s house:

“Ask the pizza guy if he can break a billion.”