Oh my goodness, this right here a handsome boy

Step on over wit' yo' good foot, now

It’s all good in the ‘hood as it should could, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


The Westminster Dog Show was on the USA Channel last week, but I didn’t watch it; if I want to see a bunch of bitches howling at the same time, I’ll watch “The View.”

It’s reported that the Kardashians made over $65 million this year. That explains why, if you move the letters in Kardashian around, it spells: Rain da kash.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unstable in the Middle East, today the entire Middle East was charged with stealing a necklace and announced they will rehab at home.

The “National Enquirer” report that OJ Simpson was beaten in prison is not true. Reporting a false story like that is irresponsible, almost as irresponsible as it would be to announce there is now a 50-cigarette-carton reward for any prisoner who makes the OJ-beating story true.

A study reveals it can be very unhealthy to sleep with your pets. Especially Paris Hilton. There is no telling what diseases those poor dogs could get from her.

It is now reported that 200 people became ill after a party at the Playboy Mansion. They were nauseas, they vomited, they had cramps. It’s the same thing that’s going to happen to Hef’s bride on their honeymoon.

It’s reported that the Kardashians made over $65 million this year. And $30,000 of that was actually earned.

Lady Gaga arrived at the VMA’s in a meat dress, then she was at the Grammys in an egg, to lower her cholesterol, at the Academy Awards she is arriving in a bottle of Lipitor.