Friday, December 10, 2010

Poster for my band, the Snoring Puppies' upcoming West Coast tour.


We puttin’ the winky in the hinky up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

After ugly and contentious negotiations, Derek Jeter says he and the New York Yankees are just one big family now. The bad news? It’s the Manson family.

Sarah Palin defended killing a Caribou on “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” by posting on twitter if you’ve ever eaten meat, you cannot criticize. It was a little awkward when Palin went on to say; “I mean folks eat Chinese food and that’s made from Chinese people, for cryin' out loud.”

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey denies the lesbian rumors between her and Gayle King; the rumors started when Oprah was shopping on Amazon and accidentally purchased the island of Lesbos.

One of charges against WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange, is that he had sex with a Swedish woman but his condom broke resulting in unprotected sex which is against the law in Sweden. His condom broke, so I guess his Wiki really did leak.

There have been some brutal early winter storms. Even Californians have been effected. The other night it got so cold in Los Angeles, my neighbor had to turn up the temperature in his Jacuzzi.

Antonio Martinez, who changed his name to Mohammad Hussein, was arrested in Maryland for trying to blow up a military building. Authorities became suspicious when he changed his name from Antonio Martinez to Mohammad Hussein.

Sarah Palin defended killing a Caribou on “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” by posting on twitter if you’ve ever eaten meat you cannot criticize. Really? That’s like Michael Vick saying you can’t criticize dog fighting if you’ve ever wagged your finger and said; “Bad dog.”

Urban Meyer has resigned as the head coach of Florida; and here I thought that was just an urban myth.

After an embarrassing 45-3 loss to the New England Patriots, New York Jet coach Rex Ryan took the game ball and buried it. Not only that, he found Jimmy Hoffa.

Playboy Playmate, Donna D’Errico claims she was singled out for a humiliating body search by a TSA agent. D’Ericco said if she wanted to be fondled, groped and molested she would meet Charlie Sheen for drinks.

An 86-year-old cancer-stricken Pennsylvania man shot a deer from his recliner; a feeble, sick old man bags a buck from his Barcalounger. Boy, Sarah Palin is right, hunting is a great sport. What a test of sheer athleticism. Keep your triathlon and rock climbing wimps.

Antonio Martinez, who changed his name to Mohammad Hussein, was arrested in Maryland for trying to blow up a military building. He changed his name to Mohammad Hussein? Was the name Osama bin Terrorist already taken?