Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A survey ranked the top 50 drug-using colleges and #1 was New Hampshire University. What do you expect? The students tried to change their mascot from a Wildcat to a Snoop Dog.

A survey ranked the top 50 drug-using colleges and in the top ten was California State University at Monterey Bay. What do they expect if they put a college at beautiful Monterey Bay? That’s like holding a sex addicts anonymous meeting at the Playboy mansion.

During a 23-7 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers, the 2-11 Cincinnati Bengals sideline showed receiver Terrell Owens arguing with QB, Carson Palmer. Not only that, but an assistant coach stuck out his knee and Owens tripped over his argument.

A survey ranked the top 50 drug-using colleges and #1 was New Hampshire University. What do you expect from a college where you can actually major in Jam Bands, dred-locks and tie-dye shirts?

American teenagers ranked 25th out of 37 countries in math. If our math doesn’t improve, our chances of competing economically in the world will go down like a bazillion katrillion percent.

During the Miami Dolphins 10-6 win over the New York Jets, a Jets assistant coach intentionally tripped a Dolphin player on the sideline. You can’t blame the coach for trying, I mean it’s not like there are any cameras there to catch him.

Did you see House Speaker John Boehner on “Sixty Minutes”? He was crying like an airport TSA agent who just missed patting down Megan Fox.

Ryan Seacrest just signed a three-year $30 million deal. And I had no idea Ryan was a relief pitcher, a switch-hitter, sure, but I didn’t know he was a relief pitcher.

Did you see that Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles were attacked in their limousine? Camilla was so upset it took two sugar cubes, a carrot and a good brushing to calm her down.

Ryan Seacrest just signed a three-year $30 mil deal with Clear Channel and that’s just for his radio show, he still has a deal with “American Idol.” All that money does explain why Julianne Hough goes out with him.


Since you asked:

Amazing, amazing Christmas tree experience yesterdiddy. Picked up Ann Caroline, drove the four miles to the Evergreen nursery, got out, they had conveniently placed awesome trees in various sizes, we picked a taller one than usual. When I pointed out it was a little pricey, boom, the guy whacks $20 off the price.

There and back in twenty five minutes with a beautiful fragrant ten foot tree in the living room.