Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Hey to the way to the say hey nay now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Ryan Reynolds was named “People” world’s sexiest man. Hopefully this honor, in some small way, will help Ryan cope with the fact he is a talented rich movie star married to Scarlett Johanson.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged. Everyone in the royal family is excited, Camilla Parker Bowles jumped up and down so much she threw a horseshoe.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged. She is smoking hot and he is, well, let’s just say if you want to get them a present, they are registered at “Bed, Bath and Way Beyond William’s League.”

Ryan Reynolds was named “People” world’s sexiest man. That can’t be an easy title to live up to, buy underwear in bulk at Costco and you get “You’re the world’s sexiest man?” Refill your Viagra prescription and it’s “You’re the world’s sexiest man?” Get caught watching goat porn and it’s “You’re the worlds sexiest man?” 


“Jersey Shore” the Situation and Bristol Palin filmed a PSA on abstinence and birth control. Next up, a PSA on the virtues of discipline and clean living with Charlie Sheen and Paris Hilton.

Bristol was pregnant at 16, the Situation sleeps with skanks so nasty he has to dip them in a hot Jacuzzi before he touches them. Not exactly Mother Teresa and the Pope.


Since you asked:

At the Mark Twain Award for American Humor award show for Tina Fey, I was tagged by something the great Steve Martin said:

“Tina Fey writes for the page, not for the bit.”

How generous and apt indeed. Anyone can write: “Toddler bat hits guy in nutz.” It’s going to be funny, but it isn’t funny to read. Tina Fey chooses her words carefully and then crafts them exquisitely to make lines that are so witty and clever I have to rewind them to fully appreciate them.


This is what all great comedy writers do instinctively, maticulousness is the price we pay for brilliance. Maticiloulisness. Matickyoulessnesst, we are real picky-like about our words.