This low-down bitchin' got my poor feet itchin', Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


A New York Vet prescribed two Viagra pills to treat an ailing pit bull. A pit bull on Viagra, gosh, what could go wrong there?


A New York Vet prescribed Viagra to treat an ailing pit bull. A pit bull on Viagra, who could have imagined getting bitten by a pit bull could be the second worst thing they could do to you?


B.P. was able to siphon some of the oil from the massive leak; in a related relative success story, Tiger Woods was able to order a grand slam breakfast without hitting on the Denny’s waitress.


We have made so many jokes about the KFC double down sandwich, two pieces of
fried chicken with cheese, cream sauce and bacon in the middle, that I decided to try one today. To my surprise it was pretty goo . . . ah, er, oh, ergh, ug, eww, phew . . . sorry, it just passed through my heart.


A woman at Buffalo diner told President Barack Obama he was a hottie with a
smokin’ body. In a related story, First Lady Michelle Obama just issued her first death sentence.


The next issue of Playboy is coming out in 3-D with the 3-D glasses. The “Playboy” 3-D glasses are amazing, you put them on and suddenly you see the words: “Why are you paying for this stupid magazine? Get on the Internet, you horny loser.”