The Yellow Lab acting as a pillow? It's not Wrigley, but it could be his twin. 'Dey just fuzzy little angel clowns is what 'day is . . .

She wasn’t much good at sayin’ goodbye, but, that girl could sing, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


An investigation revealed employees at the Securities Exchange Commission surfed porn at work some as much as eight hours a day. Guys, when we said find out why our economy is screwed, this wasn’t what we meant.

When we said investigate stocks and bonds, they thought we said stockings and bondage

An investigation revealed employees at the Securities Exchange Commission surfed porn at work some as much as eight hours a day. You know the leading cause of workers compensation at the SEC? Tennis elbow.

At the Zurich Open in New Orleans, two good ol’ boys attempted to catch a 10-foot alligator with a fishing pole and a stick with a rope. If the alligator had come out, it would have launched a new reality show: “Dancing With the Stumps.”

At the Zurich Open in New Orleans, two good ol’ boys attempted to catch a 10-foot alligator with a fishing pole and a stick with a rope. That’s like trying to catch John Daly with a fruit bar and a Stairmaster.

The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus has merged with the San Diego Men’s Chorus. This information has been brought to you by the Department of Needless Redundancy Department.

The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus has merged with the San Diego Men’s Chorus. There hasn’t been a merger this seamless since Siegfried signed up with Roy.

Tiger Woods is set to play in the next PGA event at Tail Follow, er, uh, sorry, Quail Hollow.


Since you asked:
Last night I made a ripping Pad Thai chicken dish, and yes, I am still straight. It was shockingly easy and tasty.

Did the usual marinating of the chicken tenders in olive oil and garlic. Rubbed pepper, salt and garlic powder and flash seared them on high on the grill, but they were not quite done.

Soaked the rice noodles in hot water.

Made a sauce substituting tamarine paste with a large dollop of Thai Satay peanut sauce, so it wasn’t exactly Pad Thai authentic, but it was good. Splash of rice wine vinegar, two tablespoon of fish sauce, large dollop of honey. Oh, and a dash of sweet chili sauce for a touch of heat. Mixed and set it aside.

Browned and finished the seared chicken tenders in the wok, added the sauce and a healthy splash of the noodle water and the noodles and sautéed it in the wok until the sauce cooked down and clung well to the noodles. Maybe three to four minutes on fairly high heat.

Plated it in a serving bowl topped with diced green onions, shredded carrots and cabbage and crushed peanuts. The sauce was sweet and savory, the chicken was tasty and moist and the noodles were perfectly al dente. The onions, carrots and cabbage and crushed peanuts added a healthy and tasty texture. Family quickly consumed.

And Alexander the Great wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.

Lex’s take on the Arizona Immigration law

Hope I don’t lose my more liberal readers, but to the high-minded folks so loudly upset over the strict new Arizona immigration law? Believe me, I understand your objections, but do you always have to go straight to Nazi Germany when you compare laws you don’t like? Isn’t there a more moderately repressive Fascist-lite example you can use in Switzerland or Austria?

You know how those zealots who are against same-sex marriage always go straight to being able to marry barnyard animals? The Nazi analogy is almost that annoying.

What about the people saying how will we like it when there is nobody there to mow your lawn or cook the meal in a restaurant? You kinda sound like the right wingers who say, due to the new health care plan, we won’t have any doctors in five years.

You don’t want to sound like that, do you?

You would have to be pretty hard-hearted not to be for supporting peaceful people who want to work and come to this country. But I contend this isn’t as much of a political issue as it is a geographical issue. It is one thing to sit high above in your Manhattan luxury apartment and scream about repressive immigration laws.

But in parts of the country, like San Diego, close to the border, as is Arizona, illegal alien-related crime has skyrocketed in the last ten years. You’ve heard of the crime increases in Mexico? It spills over the borders.

Pennsylvania D.A. – and Democrat – Tom Morganelli testified before the House Subcommittee on Immigration, Border, Security and Claims stated:

In Los Angeles, 95% of outstanding warrants for homicides are for illegal aliens.

Let’s take politics out of this.

Morganelli stated it is conservatively estimated there are over 250,000 illegal alien sex offenders in the US. Studies show the average sex offender will commit eight sex crimes before they are caught. That is over 2 million sex crimes, which we all know are primarily committed on women and children. That has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative, that is just wrong.

Nobody is saying all illegal immigrants are sex offenders. San Diego just had two beautiful young girls attacked and murdered by a guy as American as he can be. But two million sex crimes is ridiculous.

This is not saying I am all for the strict Arizona immigration law, there seems there should be more room to compromise, but I certainly understand the very real frustration behind it.

Just stop comparing it to Nazi Germany. Or soon we’ll all be married to goats.