Friday, April 30, 2010


What is cuter than a basket-o-puppies?

We rockin’ the shockin’ right up all in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


An investigation revealed an attorney for the Securities Exchange Committee would surf porn eight hours a day. The lawyer claims he was doing pro boner work, oh, sorry, pro bono work.


Goldman Sachs charged with fraud and the SEC is charged with surfing porn all day. These charges gave Goldman Sachs a black eye, but they gave the SEC blue balls.


Even the most ardent opponents of the new Arizona immigration law have to admit it could be a blessing-in-disguise of it rids us of the most insidious and heinous byproduct of illegal immigration: Mariachi bands.


An investigation revealed an attorney for the Securities Exchange Committee would surf porn eight hours a day. Even Tiger Woods is saying; “Dude, give that poor thing a rest.”


An investigation revealed an attorney for the Securities Exchange Committee would surf porn eight hours a day. “For erections lasting longer than four hours, see your doctor, for erections lasting eight hours, work for the SEC.”


The Kentucky Derby is this weekend with all the lovely traditions; singing of “My Ol’ Kentucky Home”; gorgeous roses, beautiful women sipping mint juleps in wide, floppy hats; toothless drunken cousins hitting on each other in the garbage-strewn infield.


Actor Randy Quaid was arrested in Santa Barbara and charged with theft, fraud, failure to appear in court, and the lesser charge of not being nearly as good looking as his younger brother, Dennis.


The Star reports Doug Reinhardt blew through over $2 million dollars dating Paris Hilton in a year and a half. Why do I get the impression not much of that was spent in library fines?


The Oakland Raiders traded for Redskin QB Jason Campbell which means they’ve quit on high draft pick bust, JaMarcus Russell. The Raiders shouldn’t be shocked, JaMarcus is a derivative of an old Gaelic name that means: Ryan Leaf.



In Nebraska, a man wrapped his face in toilet paper to rob a convenience store. He misunderstood when someone told him you need toilet paper for a clean getaway.

Lex’s update on the Arizona Immigration law

While I said I agree with the frustration behind the Arizona immigration law, I now think that law is a disaster. It is going to take money, time and focus away from what I think the main concern is: stopping criminal illegal immigrants, including an estimated 250,000 illegal immigrant sex offenders.

The Arizona law is a classic example of throwing the baby out with the bath water.