Just Blew It

How about that earthquake on Easter? It was shaking so hard, it actually shook Charlie Sheen into a church.

How about that earthquake on Easter? I was shaking like Tiger Woods walking past a hot blonde in a mini skirt.

A Turkish singer, Metin Senturk, set the world speed record for an unaccompanied blind driver. He didn’t mean to, he accidentally sat in the drivers seat of a Toyota Prius and it took off.

Police in Spain arrested a man who stole Viagra from 10 pharmacies. Gosh, I wonder how they were able to spot him?

My cousin had a rough Easter. His six-year-old daughter ran up to him during the egg hunt and said “Look Daddy, I found a chocolate bunny.” Problem is they didn’t hide any chocolate bunnies, they hadn’t cleaned up after their dogs.


Since you asked:
There have been two reactions to the Tiger Woods’s dead dad Nike commercial: those who despise it, and those who it almost makes sick. I am the latter.

Only a company with the blind arrogance of Nike could produce an ad so far off the mark. From first hand experience, I know the decision makers at Nike truly believe they are specially chosen people who have the responsibility of saving the world. Oh, yeah, and we make sneakers.

While not busy patting themselves on the back for their vaunted ideals and great works, the folks at Nike are busy furiously shoving their noses so far up their athlete’s butts, they can’t see the light of day. That is why they are unable to see what everyone else sees in that awful ad: a creepy black and white close up of Tiger voiced over with advice from his dead father all in a shameless attempt to sell golf apparel that is far beyond embarrassingly tacky and tasteless.

What about the Masters comeback for Tiger Woods? We truly see the emperor never had any clothes. Tiger is simply a spoiled, surly, snotty-nosed, dorkie –and as we now know - horny, hot-head, foul-mouthed cheapskate brat with almost zero character and personality who, as stupid luck would have it, can hit the ever-loving dork snot out of a golf ball.

In that regard, Nike and Tiger are a perfect match.

What we saw was two icons traveling in vastly different directions: Lefty shooting up, and Tiger auguring further in. The good news? Golf officially has a bad guy in Tiger. Well, besides Vijay and "Big boobs" Monty.