Jennifer Lopez is suing her ex-husband for threatening to release a sex tape. J. Lo is very embarrassed about this sex tape, apparently in it she makes a huge ass of herself.
Former vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, is promoting her book, “Going Rogue.” Don’t confuse this with the current vice president, Joe Biden’s book: “Going Rogaine.”
The NFL fined Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams $250,000 for giving the finger to Buffalo Bills fans; wow, $250,000 for giving someone the finger. This just in: Carrie Prejean owes herself ten billion dollars.
Sarah Palin is hawking her new book, “Going Rogue.” Is it just me or does going rogue sound like someone who has given up on their body hair landscaping?
Levi Johnston says he is getting career advice from Jon Gosselin; in a related story, this information alone was responsible for creating 500 new American-hating terrorists.
Former imprisoned dog fighter Philadelphia Eagle Michael Vick is averaging 2.3 yard rushing and has completed 2 out 10 passes. How great is it that Vick’s past is dogging him?
“Star Trek” is out on DVD. It is really realistic, especially that scene where they are flying to an alien planet, but the pilots were drunk and fell asleep and missed it by 180 miles.
Sarah Palin is hawking her new book, “Going Rogue.” Doesn’t going rogue sound like a French term for not shaving body hair? “My woman does not have zee hairy armpits, she eez going rogue, nes pas?”
President Obama is in China. Obama was going to tour a lead factory, but it was contaminated with plastic dolls.
The San Diego Zoo has named their baby panda Yun Zi; Yun Zi is an ancient Chinese name that, roughly translated, means: Tourist Crack.
Since you asked:
So I went out for a great run on a beautiful afternoon. When I get back, not one e-mail, not one text message, no cell phone calls, nobody asked to be my Facebook friend, nobody decided to follow me on Twitter.
OK, I get it, digital Internet people: you hate me, you really hate me.