Monday, October 19, 2009

Mammas, don’t let your cowboys grow up to be babies, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



“The Balloon Boy ” saga has exploded; a world record was set by the number of radio disc jockeys who opened their morning show the next day with the 5th Dimension song “Up, Up and Away”


This just in: Jon and Kate Gosselin have just alerted the media and authorities that their 15-minutes of fame just became un tethered and is floating off in the air.


A brothel in Germany is offering discounts to customers who arrive by bicycle; the deal is called “A hundred and ten, a Schwinn and you’re in.”


A brothel in Germany is offering discounts to customers who arrive by bicycle; normally when you hear about hookers going green, it’s not good, but this is.


A 20-foot wide homemade hot air balloon took off and it was believed to contain a six-year-old boy, but the child was not inside, but it received global television coverage. In a related story, Jon and Kate have begun constructing a homemade hot air balloon.


Rush Limbaugh was kicked out of a group of potential buyers of the St. Louis Rams. This just in: Rush Limbaugh accuses the potential buyers of the Rams of being left-wing commie sympathizing Hillary-loving hippies.


It’s starting to look like the entire Colorado Balloon Boy episode was a bizarre hoax perpetrated by the publicity-staving parents; if it’s true, congratulations, Jon and Kate, there are bigger publicity whore a-holes than you.


Junior Seau has un-retired for the third time to be a linebacker for the New England Patriots; Junior would have re-joined the San Diego Chargers’ linebackers, but he wants the chance to actually tackle a quarterback.


At the reality TV show awards, Jon and Kate Gosselin were loudly booed by their fellow reality stars; that’s when you know you’re screwed, when all the other hateful untalented attention whores find you obnoxious.


A 20-foot wide homemade hot air balloon took off and it was believed to contain a six-year-old boy, but the child was not inside. You know what they found in the balloon? OJ’s knife.

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