(Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Tweet, tweet, tweet on the street so your feet don't miss a beat, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Good move
McDonald's posts huge July sales; savvy investors scoop up all funeral-related stocks.


Busy guy
A Brazil crime show host, Wallace Souza, also a state legislator, was charged with murdering his drug rivals - he is also a drug dealer - in order to film them first to boost his show's, "Canal Livre" ratings. This guy makes Ryan Seacrest look like a slacker.

Along with some torture molding
President Barack Obama has been accused by Sarah Palin and other republicans of suggesting the creation of death panels who will decide which old people are allowed to live. Don't death panels sound like something lining the walls of Dick Cheney's private study?

Heidi Montag and Mr Montag? Just a fetid, steaming pile of wrong.

Huh?
Nancy Pelosi proposed a bill initially approved by congress, but now rescinded, to buy three luxury private jets to be used exclusively by members of congress. This news item is for the people who still don't believe congress is out of touch. All five of them.