We flat jam skippy up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

After serving his suspension for taking female hormones, Manny Rameriz was tossed from a game for throwing down his elbow pad. It didn't help when Manny also threw down his pantie shield.

Joey Chestnut won the Nathan's Fourth of July hot dog eating contest with a record 68 in ten minutes. The guy couldn't help a comedy writer and down one more? But, to be fair, it takes two to eat 69.

Oscar Mayer passed at 95 yesterday. Sadly, he carries to his grave the reason b.o.l.o.g.n.a is pronounced bahlownie. He gave bologna a first and last name long before Joe Biden.

"American Idol" judge Kara Dioguardi got married, Saturday. It was nice, Paula Abdul gave a toast that was closed captioned for the slurring impaired.


Sarah Palin went to go fishing today, but she quit halfway through before she caught anything.

I've noticed on Twitter and Facebook there is a lot of Tweeting their own horn and facebragging going on. Lots of "My kid scored the winning run" not a lot of "My credit card got declined at Costco. Damn, I needed that Preparation H and Ammodium AD."

Oscar Mayer passed at 95. OK, let's get this over with. While his competition brutwurst meat products to the market, Oscar Mayer was a true wiener, frankly, his rivals could never mustard the courage to ketchup.