Wednesday, June 17, 2009

We flankin' and tankin' and crankin' all up in this bofizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


This just in:
After announcing his retirement, Sammy Sosa was nailed for taking steroids in 2003. And it gets worse. At his retirement home, Sosa was caught playing shuffleboard with a corked cue.


Tens of thousands gathered in Los Angeles to watch the Lakers NBA Championship parade. Not to be left out, the Clippers fans had their own parade and afterwards got a booth at the Rancho Cucamonga Dennys.


Tens of thousands gathered in Los Angeles to watch the Lakers NBA Championship parade. Since Michael Jordan, it has been a poorly-kept secret tradition that the players attend the parade sleepless and horribly hung-over. Or as Dennis Rodman calls that, Wednesday morning.


Sarah Palin reluctantly accepted Letterman's apology in the hope men who joke about sexual exploitation of young women will evolve. Letterman has not heard an apology acceptance that lame since his honeymoon.

"The New York Times" has describe Ruth Madoff as the loneliest person in New York; which is ironic because, in prison, Bernie Madoff's dance card is quite full indeed.

I'm still not sure about this Mahmoud Ahmadinejad clown. He looks like a guy who takes coins out of the penny dish when the Seven Eleven cashier isn't looking.

I'm still not sure about this Mahmoud Ahmadinejad clown. He looks like the guy at the swap meet arguing over the price of tube socks.

In Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is declaring himself the winner in a very shaky election. His opponent, al Gore-jad, has no choice but to gain a lot of weight and whine about global warming.

Since you asked:

It really was stunning to see the segment on "60 Minutes" about the guy who blew the whistle on that scum-bucket, Bernie Madoff. They showed clips of Madoff holding forth in meetings and his air was unbelievably pompous, arrogant and condescending, at the exact same time he knew his scam of stealing billions from old widows and children's cancer charities was about to come crashing down.

There are instances where life in prison or even the death penalty are simply not good enough and this is one of them. While rotting in a maximum prison is no picnic, it sure beats the uncertainty and terror facing the people Madoff left utterly penniless.

At this point we can only hope for a Jeffery Dahmer-like case of in-prison vengance.

But it does make me feel better to know that vile wretched witch, Ruth Madoff, is penniless and shunned.