We manufacturing the outrage by hand up in this here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Fun, fun, fun
Actress Anna Feris said she and her fiancé keep things exciting by sending mid-week sexy text messages. They call it “Sex text Wednesday.” And they have even more fun on “Sit on my Facebook Friday.”

Juicy
The juicy gossip is actress Kate Hudson was seen making out in a club with Alex Rodriguez; they really went at it too, the next day Kate tested positive for steroids.

Old kiss
Did you see Kiss on “American Idol”? You can tell Kiss is getting older, right when Kiss came out on stage, Gene Simmons yelled to the contestants; “You punks get off my lawn.”

I like that guy
I like Joe Biden, he reminds me of the guy at the celebrity golf tournament getting his picture taken with Joe Piscipo,

Scary
When Dick Cheney was vice president, he didn’t say two words, now he can’t shut up, he’s talking more after being vice president. Can you imagine if this happens to Joe Biden? We’d have to shoot him.

Kiss
On “American Idol” you can tell Kiss is getting up there. Gene Simmons doesn’t stick his tongue out anymore, it just droops and hangs down on its own.


On “American Idol” you can tell Kiss is getting up there. Four words: orthopedic high heel boots.

More “A.I.”
Could you believe all the high pitched screaming when Adam Lambert sang? I haven’t heard screaming like that on “American Idol” since Sanjaya and Ryan Seacrest got in a hair-pulling fight back stage.

The Joe Biden
Have you heard about the new medical life alert device? It’s called “The Joe Biden” It’s for severe verbal diarrhea; “Help, I’m talking and I can’t shut up.”


Alright already
Remember that burger joint in Virginia where the President and Vice President had a burger? They named a burger “The Joe Biden Burger” It’s so good you can’t shut up about it.

Regular Joe
I like Joe Biden, he reminds me of the guy who loves to brag about the deals he gets with his credit card points.

I like Joe Biden, he reminds me of a guy who judges another guy by the firmness of his handshake.

I like Joe Biden, he looks like the guy at the charity auction getting his picture taken with Ruth Buzzie.

Baleing out
Christian Bale is promoting “Terminator Salvation,” he plays John Connor on his quest to stop alien robots from destroying earth. Bale’s character is a fearless and virtually unstoppable warrior, unless an alien gets in his line of sight while shooting a scene, then Bale comes unglued.

Since you asked:

Not to get all Andy Rooney on your tookuseses, but have you noticed how the computer acts like that mean, nasty sadistic teacher you had in high school? When you do something right, it is slow and reluctant to tell you.

"Hmm, let me see, maybe, I'm not sure, OK, you went to the right web site."

But the second you make a mistake it jumps down your throat. It makes that nasty angry chord noise. Errrrrr! Wrong. Idiot. Moron. Your parents hate you. What is wrong with you?