Wednesday, April 29, 2009

They got the hot mess all up their bidness, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Good job Bengies
The NFL draft was this weekend and the Cincinnati Bengals did well. They got a first round scofflaw, two second round miscreants and a recidivist backslider to be named later.

Or as the Cincinnati Bengals call the draft: the pre-parole hearings.

Hack
With the new cigarette tax, a pack of smokes in New York costs $10; it is so expensive to smoke in New York now, in Times Square, the hookers are offering a $50 special that includes blowing smoke.

Chin music
Jay Leno is still a little steamed at the doctor. When Leno checked into the emergency room, the attending doctor asked; “So why the long face?”

Maybe it’s just me
15 corny paintings by Adolf Hitler sold at an auction. Maybe its just me, but somehow even a painting of a puppy chasing a butterfly loses its cuteness when it was painted by a guy who murdered 11 million people.

So sweet
Tennis star, Andy Roddick married swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker. They met through their agent. But it’s more romantic. He dated her on Facebook where he upgraded her to a relationship, he tweeted that he loved her on Twitter, but he proposed the old fashioned way: E-mail.

Taking a cut
Andy Roddick married swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker. They met through their agent. The big question is: does his agent get a percentage of the honeymoon take?

Not fair
President Barack Obama shot hoops at the White House outdoor court with the champion Connecticut Women’s team. Barack won a game of P-I-G. But it wasn’t fair, Barack invoked the Dick Cheney rule: you had to make the last shot off of a lawyer’s face.

Since you asked:
This will not apply to all the good and considerate drivers who read A little Bit Bad, but:

Attention Selfish, Inconsiderate Moron Drivers:

Could you maybe, just maybe, use your precious, precious time at a stop light to n0t Twitter, E-mail, Google and Text and maybe, just for fun, look up and see if the light has changed to green? It ain't my job to wait the requisite three seconds and then tap my horn so we don't miss the green just because you are a selfish idiot.

Whew, that feels better . . .