Slam it, jam it and bam it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Need the cash
“Iron Man” continues to destroy the box office. That’s good because they are going to need a lot of money when Iron Man gets sued for sexual harassment by Magnet Woman.
The post office unveiled its new Frank Sinatra stamp, but be careful with the Frank Sinatra stamp, it peels off, do not try to lick it, if you do try and lick the Frank Sinatra stamp, two teamsters will beat the crap out of you.
Oh, that guy
Former “Saturday Night Live” performer, Jimmy Fallon, will host NBC’s “Late Night” show when Conan O’Brien takes over “The Tonight Show”. I think the show is going to be called “Late Night with that guy who isn’t Adam Sandler.”
Jenna Bush got married over the weekend. It was touching, President Bush advised the nervous groom to just do on their honeymoon what Dick Cheney has been doing to the country for eight years.
Or something like that
In a letter to the “New York Times”, Democratic Icon George McGovern has urged that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama join together. The name of McGovern’s letter is “Jungle Fever II.”
More wild stuff coming out of Barbara Walter’s autobiography “Audition.” For example, remember President Wilson? Apparently Barbara didn’t call him Woodrow for nothing.
“American Idol” is down to the final three, the “Sex and the City” movie opens in two weeks and “High School Musical 3” is coming out in the Fall; in short, this is the greatest time to be gay since “Make Me a Super Model” debuted.
No, not really
In a handwritten letter to be auctioned, Albert Einstein called the bible “Pretty childish.” Specifically the book in the old testament named Doo-doo-teronomy.
Is it just me or is Hillary Clinton starting to resemble the dinner guest who is still there when you are brushing your teeth and setting your alarm clock?
More stuff coming out of Barbara Walter’s autobiography “Audition.” In 1982, Barbara killed a hitchhiker in Winslow, Arizona just for his Members Only jacket.
Since you asked:
If you are looking for a great thing to do for a few nights, climb aboard Amazon.com and buy the “Lonesome Dove” DVD. It is so awesome. My lovely wife Virginia had to ask me to stop talking about how awesome it is when it started. Opening scene. Cut to: Two pigs fighting over a dead rattlesnake. Are you kidding me? How great is that?
The only slight negative is there are parts that drag. Especially the scenes with Anjelica Huston. Her character is way too hammy and she chews up a ton of scenery right when the action grinds to a crawl. But hang in there, the action always picks right back up again.
Warning: many, many tear-jerking moments. One that really grabbed me this viewing was when Gus (Robert Duval was amazing) was reading what Call (So was Tommy Lee Jones) wrote on Josh Deets’s (beautifully played by Danny Glover) grave marker. Gus stoically chokes up when he gets to the part that says;
“He was cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior.”
Dammit, now I gotta go get a tissue.
Thank you eternally “LD” author Larry McMurtry, and Robert Duvall’s portrayal of Gus McCrae for supplying me with the blue print on how to end up be a feisty ol’ gent.
More great Gus lines:
(When asked about Jake Spoon)
“Jake’s busy being Jake, it’s, it’s a full time job.”
(Playing poker with the boys)
“Get ready to shed a tear, girls.”
(When somebody comments about how old Deets’s hat is)
“Deets ain’t one to quit in a garment due to age.”
(Responding to Pee Eye declaration of never getting married and having kids)
“I’m sure it’s all part of God’s plan, Pee.”
(After Call laments that they should have shot sooner to save Deets)
“By God, Call, I can’t think of all things we should have done for that good man.”
(Riding off after the vintage scene in the San Antonio bar)
“Whacking a surly bartender ain’t much of a crime.”
(To Newt on why he quit being a waiter on a paddleboat)
"Well I was too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone."