Loose the hounds, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
The Juice ain’t loose
OJ Simpson is going to prison for 15 years on kidnapping, armed robbery and assault charges; to give you an idea how long that is, when OJ gets out he really won’t remember where he hid the knife.
In a statement to the court, OJ said he didn’t think he did anything wrong. Of course this is a guy who thought killing a couple people was OK.
OJ Simpson is going to prison for 15 years on kidnapping, armed robbery and assault charges; in a statement to the court, OJ said he didn’t think he did anything wrong. As a result, the judge threw in another charge of being really stupid.
Getting a harrrrrd time
A cruise ship was attacked by pirates off of Yemen, but the cruise ship gunned it and outran the pirate ship. That had to be embarrassing back at the pirate bar. “Arr, don’t worry, matey, I hear that cruise ship took off so fast it knocked two fat guys off the all-you-can-eat buffet. Harr”
Yuck
Insiders say Britney Spears is bulimic and her diet consists of Taco Bell, Turkey Jerky and Red Bull. She’s not bulimic, she puked from eating Taco Bell, Turkey Jerky and Red Bull. My word, Amy Winehouse couldn’t hold down that crap.
More Amy
Last week Amy Winehouse was admitted to a London hospital again. It was serious they found some blood in her drug and alcohol system.
You can't spell Louisiana without insane
Louisiana was ranked the unhealthiest state. What do you expect from the state whose state bird is a Popeye’s fried chicken?
They deep fry so many things in Louisiana the state motto is “Batter and Splatter.”
You know what you call a deep fried Twinky in Louisiana? Health food.
Louisiana was ranked the unhealthiest state. There was proof of massive over-eating of junk food, alcoholism, smoking and drug use. And that was just at Britney Spears’s house.
More Pirate garrrrrrbage
A cruise ship was attacked by pirates off of Yemen, but the cruise ship outran the pirate ship. But don’t count these pirates out, they are smart. I heard some of them were educated at Harrrvard. The best day to catch a pirate? Arrrbor Day. But watch out for their swords, they’ll leave a scarrr.
Same deal
The New York Giants said they would take Plaxico Burress back if he promises not to shoot off anything in his pants again. That’s funny, that was the same condition Hillary gave Bill Clinton.
Since you asked:
Let’s play another, but smaller round of;
“Things Hollywood Think Happen But Never Do In Real Life”
Witty comments made right at the most perilous moment
Joggers run at about five minute a mile pace
Long foot chases
Anyone who goes to any game has front row seats
Emerging from a night at a bar/club unaware that it is now daytime
Healthy looking people who smoke constantly
Sex in the kitchen
Cab driver not only speaks perfect English but always makes droll and dry comments
Leaving their car unattended right in front of the airport terminal
Tennis players hit three balls and sit down to drink ice tea
Emerging from the pool with hair wet but coiffed
Talking during Yoga sessions
People admitted to the emergency room see a doctor right away
Jumping on an airplane without any luggage
Every park scene has a guy jogging with a golden retriever and an older woman power walking with five tiny dogs and a hot looking babe riding a horse and a cute kid with balloons and there isn’t a ghetto blaster whaling away in sight.
Everyone gets a seat on the subway and or train.
Every bar scene some woman throws a drink on a guy.
In the Seventies any character who snorts cocaine is hip and cool, after 1985 they are evil and sinister.
The Juice ain’t loose
OJ Simpson is going to prison for 15 years on kidnapping, armed robbery and assault charges; to give you an idea how long that is, when OJ gets out he really won’t remember where he hid the knife.
In a statement to the court, OJ said he didn’t think he did anything wrong. Of course this is a guy who thought killing a couple people was OK.
OJ Simpson is going to prison for 15 years on kidnapping, armed robbery and assault charges; in a statement to the court, OJ said he didn’t think he did anything wrong. As a result, the judge threw in another charge of being really stupid.
Getting a harrrrrd time
A cruise ship was attacked by pirates off of Yemen, but the cruise ship gunned it and outran the pirate ship. That had to be embarrassing back at the pirate bar. “Arr, don’t worry, matey, I hear that cruise ship took off so fast it knocked two fat guys off the all-you-can-eat buffet. Harr”
Yuck
Insiders say Britney Spears is bulimic and her diet consists of Taco Bell, Turkey Jerky and Red Bull. She’s not bulimic, she puked from eating Taco Bell, Turkey Jerky and Red Bull. My word, Amy Winehouse couldn’t hold down that crap.
More Amy
Last week Amy Winehouse was admitted to a London hospital again. It was serious they found some blood in her drug and alcohol system.
You can't spell Louisiana without insane
Louisiana was ranked the unhealthiest state. What do you expect from the state whose state bird is a Popeye’s fried chicken?
They deep fry so many things in Louisiana the state motto is “Batter and Splatter.”
You know what you call a deep fried Twinky in Louisiana? Health food.
Louisiana was ranked the unhealthiest state. There was proof of massive over-eating of junk food, alcoholism, smoking and drug use. And that was just at Britney Spears’s house.
More Pirate garrrrrrbage
A cruise ship was attacked by pirates off of Yemen, but the cruise ship outran the pirate ship. But don’t count these pirates out, they are smart. I heard some of them were educated at Harrrvard. The best day to catch a pirate? Arrrbor Day. But watch out for their swords, they’ll leave a scarrr.
Same deal
The New York Giants said they would take Plaxico Burress back if he promises not to shoot off anything in his pants again. That’s funny, that was the same condition Hillary gave Bill Clinton.
Since you asked:
Let’s play another, but smaller round of;
“Things Hollywood Think Happen But Never Do In Real Life”
Witty comments made right at the most perilous moment
Joggers run at about five minute a mile pace
Long foot chases
Anyone who goes to any game has front row seats
Emerging from a night at a bar/club unaware that it is now daytime
Healthy looking people who smoke constantly
Sex in the kitchen
Cab driver not only speaks perfect English but always makes droll and dry comments
Leaving their car unattended right in front of the airport terminal
Tennis players hit three balls and sit down to drink ice tea
Emerging from the pool with hair wet but coiffed
Talking during Yoga sessions
People admitted to the emergency room see a doctor right away
Jumping on an airplane without any luggage
Every park scene has a guy jogging with a golden retriever and an older woman power walking with five tiny dogs and a hot looking babe riding a horse and a cute kid with balloons and there isn’t a ghetto blaster whaling away in sight.
Everyone gets a seat on the subway and or train.
Every bar scene some woman throws a drink on a guy.
In the Seventies any character who snorts cocaine is hip and cool, after 1985 they are evil and sinister.
posted by Alex at
12:25 PM
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