Thursday, August 14, 2008

Even your emotions have an echo is so much space, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It was a dark and stormy administration
San Jose State held their 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Worst Fiction Contest. Contestants submit the worst opening lines to a non-existing novel. This year’s winner? “This is the saga of the legacy of the Presidency of George W. Bush.”


San Jose State held their 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Worst Fiction Contest. Contestants submit the worst opening lines to a non-existing novel. This year’s winner? “How to be a good husband and politician by John Edwards.”

Who da ‘ho? Idaho
A Republican politician from Idaho has endorsed Barack Obama; And no, it wasn’t Larry Craig, but apparently all those Idaho republicans love to reach out whether it’s across the congressional aisle or the airport bathroom stall.

That’s an Idaho republican for you, they’re either reaching out or reaching around.

Or Milli Vanilli
The news from China is that the adorable little girl who sang the National Anthem for the opening ceremony was lip-syncing. Her name is Lin Miaoke which translates into English as Ashley Simpson.

More annoying critics
Critics have whined about the rock music blasting between points at the Olympic beach volleyball venue. And as history has shown, if there is anything hot-blooded male sports fans cannot stand it’s hot women in bikinis jumping around on a beach to rock music. Seriously, if they just added beer most guys could die and go to heaven.


Critics in the US have whined about the rock music blasting between points at the beach volleyball venue. When asked if he thought the music was too loud at the women’s game he was watching, one starry-eyed male fan said; “Wha? Huh? There’s music? What music? Oh yeah.”


Some anonymous critics have complained that the bikinis are too skimpy on the women’s beach volleyball players. We don’t know who those critics are but we are pretty sure they aren’t on any of the women’s softball teams.

Clipped
$500-a-haircut-weasel John Edwards is still under fire after getting caught in an extramarital affair. In fact, his wife, Elizabeth, is so mad she would pay more than $500 to have something else on Edwards clipped besides his hair.

Mug this
As a deterrent, police are publishing DUI mug shots in local papers. As a result, the Los Angeles Times is adding an entire new section just to cover the Hollywood mug shots: now, next to the Op-ed section, is the Hop-head section. Or, as it is also known, Andy Dick’s Pics.

Two Americas
John Edwards was reported to have paid mistress Rielle Hunter a hundred thousand dollars and a mansion. For Edwards there really are two Americas; and, as it turns out in one of them, Edwards has to pay out the nose for tail.

Since you asked:
Not to pat myself on the back, but am I the only one who has learned that 99% of smooth-talking overly-slick and well-scrubbed politicians always turn out to be slimy worthless grasping scumbags?

Is anyone really shocked when we find out a powerful married man is fooling around on his wife? Not anymore. But when that powerful married man bases his image on being Mr. Perfect Pants, he should go down hard. And, boy, is Edwards going down hard.

It is a scary enabling combination when you put together a greedy charismatic egomaniac with a voting public who desperately wants to believe its leaders really do look like the ones in the movies. What happens is the charismatic, charming Politico has their path greased and they slide at lightening speed to their entirely unearned lofty goals.

Maybe these guys didn’t start out evil, but when women start throwing themselves at wildly cocky guys, and special interests groups start throwing gifts, they become hard-wired to believe that they live in a world where consequences and morals do not apply. At least they don’t apply to them.

But, as in all Greek tragedies, their immorality catches up to their over-sized egos in a big way, either with a sex scandal or, a financial scandal or, in JFK’s case, a bullet from somebody powerful whom JFK's egocentric selfishness infuriated, either in the government, the mob or Cuba. (I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but somebody, besides just Oswald, had JFK shot)

Does this mean we are going to be stuck with Dennis Kucinich’s and Ralph Nader’s? Let’s look back, who were the best leaders? Lincoln? Nobody ever called him slick. Ghandi? You know he never paid $500 for a haircut. Washington? Not a great looking guy even if he had his own teeth. Churchill? Even bulldogs made fun of him.

Maybe there are slick, smooth and charismatic sharp-looking politicians out there who have good souls, who have their priorities straight and who want to lead by example.


But the statistics and history are not good is all I am saying.