Thursday, June 12, 2008

We doin’ that thang that we do when we do how we do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

How hot is it?

It is so hot in New York, Elliot Spitzer hired a hooker named Windy.

It is so hot in New York, that thing on Donald Trump’s head is molting.

Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it

A high school in Ohio passed out over 300 diplomas last week. And on the diploma, the word education was spelled wrong. Upon hearing this, President Bush replied, “Yeah, and look at the word diploma, they spelled diplomat wrong.”

Again, uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it

The Abu Dhabi is negotiating to buy 75 percent stake the Chrysler Building. It was awkward, when informed the Chrysler Building may be bought by Abu Dhabi, President Bush said; “Abu Dhabi? Isn’t that what Fred Flintstone says?”

Now that is hot

It is so hot in New York, Barbara Walters had sex with the Good Humor man.

Ouch

The Tony Awards are on Father’s Day Sunday; let me give you a little tip, with the US Open, NBA finals, baseball games, if your father wants to watch the Tony Awards on Father’s Day, your real father is a turkey baster.

Oh, that’s nice

New York Giant Michael Strahan has retired; Michael wants to spend more time with his orthodontist.

No mas hinky, hinky

Cuba is offering free sex change operations; or as sex change operations are known in Cuba: Adios Hoochie Coochie.

Since you asked:
We are goin’ -and by we, I mean me - to the US Open with my good ol’ buddy Ray. (No relation to Jim Croce’s “Operator” good ol’ ex-friend, Ray, a guy she said she new and sometimes hated)

But he is living in L.A.

When we get to Torrey Pines we are going to have lunch. Isn’t it hilarious how people go to such time and trouble to travel places just to stuff their face? It cracks me up. When the huge Mormon temple opened in the ghetto of La Jolla, La Jolla Colony, people – Mormons I presume – traveled from all over the country – granted mostly Utah and Arizona - just to plop down on a blanket near it and eat lunch.

It probably has something to do with the fact that you can say, hey, we went to the US Open. When somebody asks what you did there, instead of saying standing and watching and occasionally walking, you can say; “We had lunch.”

That and traveling and being outside makes you hungry.