We the Über dawg, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Ah, that’s sweet
17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby shower; her sister Britney gave her a nice white trash can.
17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby shower; it was awkward when Roger Clemens showed up and gave her an autographed baseball with his phone number.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
First daughter Jenna Bush is getting married this weekend. It was a little awkward, when they asked President Bush about the nuptials, Bush said; “Laura is in charge of the flowers.”
His mistake
Roger Clemens used to date John Daly’s ex-wife. But it turned out to be a misunderstanding, Clemens was attracted to her until he found out it was just her golf handicap that was 15.
Not since then
The top blockbuster in a long time is “Iron Man.” This is the most money a mechanical man has made with a movie since Al Gore released “Inconvenient Truth.”
Hola and adios
Did you have a Happy Cinco De Mayo? Today it’s Adios Suit De La Pantaloons day.
It is not looking good for Hillary. Pretty soon she may have to wave her white pants suit.
Did you have a good Cinco De Mayo? Cinco De Mayo is a Mexican term meaning: Last One Over to America Turn Out the Light.
Bawah Wawah
Barbara Walters has come out with a racy autobiography. Barbara was a wild woman. It turns out Barbawa was a weal twamp.
Barbara Walters has come out with a racy autobiography. Not to put too fine a point on it, but while she was a reporter in Washington, Barbara personally put two brothels out of business.
Bad dog
Winner of the Westminster Dog Show the Beagle, Uno, visited President Bush at the White House. There was an awkward moment when Uno hit on Millie the first dog.
That is weak
Miami Dolphins star end Jason Taylor is winning over women on “Dancing with the Stars.” Taylor is so handsome, when women see him their knees get weaker than the average Dolphins offensive lineman.
Since you asked:
Why is it always up to me to fix things?
Take “American Idol.” That thing is a dollar making machine, but they had best come correct and square themselves right or they will be screwed. See, although "AI" is wildly popular now, the show has serious flaws. With so many options on TV and so little time to view, we viewers are just dying for an excuse to kick the addiction of any one show. That’s what happened to me with “Survivor” I was hooked, recorded the episodes and one day it sucked and that was it.
Even though my family is San Diego biased, the fact that Carly Smithson was voted off during Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber week was flat wrong. She is much better than Brook White and especially Jason Castro and she tore up “Jesus Christ Superstar”
The brain trusts at “A.I.” have to fix two huge problems.
One, “Vote for the Worst” is just killing them. They have to technically rig a way to cancel out those negative votes. This is not a presidential election, no crime will be committed it the election is tampered with.
Maybe it’s as simple as giving the producers one vote cancel per season. When it is over ten contestants it doesn’t matter, there are enough lousy ones that stick out and they will get booted. But when it gets down to the top six or so, it is a close horse race, and when an obvious clunker is voted back it sticks out, so the producers should silently and secretly toss out that vote. And this would also help kill "Vote for the worst" by making it impotent.
Second, they have to figure out some way to adjust the out-of-whack demographic of young teenage girls voting like, oh-my-god, like, a bajillion baskillion kajillion times. A cute guy who is a crappy singer, like Jason "Whoopi+Travolta=" Castro, will always beat a cute girl who is a much better singer, like Carly.
And what the hell was the deal with Ryan Seacrest’s hair? Did he tell the barber he wanted to look like Ed Grimley? Yeah, that should put a stop to all the fancy boy rumors. Why not just borrow Sanjaya's faux hawk wig?
Ah, that’s sweet
17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby shower; her sister Britney gave her a nice white trash can.
17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby shower; it was awkward when Roger Clemens showed up and gave her an autographed baseball with his phone number.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
First daughter Jenna Bush is getting married this weekend. It was a little awkward, when they asked President Bush about the nuptials, Bush said; “Laura is in charge of the flowers.”
His mistake
Roger Clemens used to date John Daly’s ex-wife. But it turned out to be a misunderstanding, Clemens was attracted to her until he found out it was just her golf handicap that was 15.
Not since then
The top blockbuster in a long time is “Iron Man.” This is the most money a mechanical man has made with a movie since Al Gore released “Inconvenient Truth.”
Hola and adios
Did you have a Happy Cinco De Mayo? Today it’s Adios Suit De La Pantaloons day.
It is not looking good for Hillary. Pretty soon she may have to wave her white pants suit.
Did you have a good Cinco De Mayo? Cinco De Mayo is a Mexican term meaning: Last One Over to America Turn Out the Light.
Bawah Wawah
Barbara Walters has come out with a racy autobiography. Barbara was a wild woman. It turns out Barbawa was a weal twamp.
Barbara Walters has come out with a racy autobiography. Not to put too fine a point on it, but while she was a reporter in Washington, Barbara personally put two brothels out of business.
Bad dog
Winner of the Westminster Dog Show the Beagle, Uno, visited President Bush at the White House. There was an awkward moment when Uno hit on Millie the first dog.
That is weak
Miami Dolphins star end Jason Taylor is winning over women on “Dancing with the Stars.” Taylor is so handsome, when women see him their knees get weaker than the average Dolphins offensive lineman.
Since you asked:
Why is it always up to me to fix things?
Take “American Idol.” That thing is a dollar making machine, but they had best come correct and square themselves right or they will be screwed. See, although "AI" is wildly popular now, the show has serious flaws. With so many options on TV and so little time to view, we viewers are just dying for an excuse to kick the addiction of any one show. That’s what happened to me with “Survivor” I was hooked, recorded the episodes and one day it sucked and that was it.
Even though my family is San Diego biased, the fact that Carly Smithson was voted off during Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber week was flat wrong. She is much better than Brook White and especially Jason Castro and she tore up “Jesus Christ Superstar”
The brain trusts at “A.I.” have to fix two huge problems.
One, “Vote for the Worst” is just killing them. They have to technically rig a way to cancel out those negative votes. This is not a presidential election, no crime will be committed it the election is tampered with.
Maybe it’s as simple as giving the producers one vote cancel per season. When it is over ten contestants it doesn’t matter, there are enough lousy ones that stick out and they will get booted. But when it gets down to the top six or so, it is a close horse race, and when an obvious clunker is voted back it sticks out, so the producers should silently and secretly toss out that vote. And this would also help kill "Vote for the worst" by making it impotent.
Second, they have to figure out some way to adjust the out-of-whack demographic of young teenage girls voting like, oh-my-god, like, a bajillion baskillion kajillion times. A cute guy who is a crappy singer, like Jason "Whoopi+Travolta=" Castro, will always beat a cute girl who is a much better singer, like Carly.
And what the hell was the deal with Ryan Seacrest’s hair? Did he tell the barber he wanted to look like Ed Grimley? Yeah, that should put a stop to all the fancy boy rumors. Why not just borrow Sanjaya's faux hawk wig?
posted by Alex at
11:46 AM
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