Take the rock to the hole, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Sure sign
Police in Arizona found a portable meth lab in a church; authorities became suspicious because the name of the church is Our Sister of the Shirtless Guy with Broken Teeth.
Bag it
American Airlines is charging passengers $15 to check their first bag; And it’s another $20 for your first barf bag.
Ouch
The good news is that John McCain’s medical records have been released and he has a clean bill of health; the bad news is the medical records were signed by Doc Holiday of Tombstone.
I bet
The Humpback whale population has gone from nearly extinct to over 20,000; well sure, a species is bound to reproduce well if they have hump in their name. The “Get Some” whales are thriving as well.
The nerve
As with Charles Barkley's $400,000 bill, Dallas Cowboy troublemaker Pacman Jones barely missed criminal charges by paying an overdue Las Vegas Casino gambling debt for $20,000. These pampered athletes are handed loans of tens and – in Barkley’s case – hundreds of thousands of dollars and if they lose, they think they can just walk away. Who do they think they are, Hillary Clinton?
Get busier
“Maxim” magazine says the average man burns 125 calories having sex for one hour. According to Calories Per Hour.com, the average man burns 125 calories sitting in church for an hour. If you’re burning the same calories in church and having sex, you better pray you get better at sex.
Or
If a guy is burning the same amount of calories having sex as he does sitting in church, you do not want to sit in back of him in church.
Stream Line
A guy in Bulgaria has invented dual a urinal video game; the idea is to hit the targets with your urine stream. And, before you ask, no it isn’t available on Wii.
Either one
The movie “Sex and the City” opens in seven days; if you know that you either have a vagina or you have no interest in seeing one.
The movie “Sex and the City” opens soon, its about four hot women who have lots of sex in expensive New York apartments, they never work, they shop, go to clubs and eat brunch all day on weekends. That should be called “Sex For Hire in the City” these women have to be high class whores.
The movie “Sex and the City” opens in seven days; a lot of women identify their friends as the characters in “Sex in the City” like a Charlotte is sweet and innocent, a cynical hard worker is a Miranda, a Carrie is witty, fun and hip, and if you’re a Samantha, well, then you're a skank.
Speaking of Skanks
Another sex video of Paris Hilton has surfaced this time it shows Paris having sex in a bathtub; you think that’s wild? The bathtub is in a Home Depot show room display
Fool her once, shame on the guy filming her, fool her twice means Paris is too stupid to know the red light means the video camera is on.
Since you asked:
The History Channel featured an interesting special on the Comanche, probably the fiercest, bravest, meanest and most skilled riders and fighters in the West. Before the white man, they were the Indian equivalent of the white man. No prisoners, no compromise. Get off our land. We want it all and will kill you to have it. There were no good guys in the battle between Texas Rangers and Comanche’s.
The Comanches were but a small percentage of all Native Americans yet their image as savage and gallant fighters is what was used the majority of the time in Westerns. Nobody made a movie about the Chumash Indians gathering fruits and nuts along the Central Coast of California, which was far more typical of Native Americans than the shooting-arrows-from-underneath-a-galloping-horse Comanches.
Two things about the documentary struck me as interesting. By taking the fight to the White man with the same war philosophy of preemptive strikes and take no prisoners, the Comanches helped seal their own doom. By being too much alike, the Comanches and the Whites had no chance of ever getting along. Two bullies finally hooked up and the one with the most numbers won out.
The second thing that struck me about the Comanches was how they let their leaders pick themselves. If a warrior was the best fighter and men followed him into battle and won, he was chosen as the band’s leader, no questions asked. If a Comanche campaigned to be chosen a leader that would be the first thing that would eliminate him. Great leaders don’t want to be leaders. They are just born leaders.
We should learn from that in our own political system. If somebody is dying to get into office, that should be the first indication we don’t want them in that office. We should be able to take the most outstanding leader, whether he is in business or in the military, and say;
“Hey you, we’ve decided we would be the best off, as a country, if you were leading things. Congratulations, you're President.”
No mudslinging, no false promises, no lies, no manipulations, no horse pucky.
Sure sign
Police in Arizona found a portable meth lab in a church; authorities became suspicious because the name of the church is Our Sister of the Shirtless Guy with Broken Teeth.
Bag it
American Airlines is charging passengers $15 to check their first bag; And it’s another $20 for your first barf bag.
Ouch
The good news is that John McCain’s medical records have been released and he has a clean bill of health; the bad news is the medical records were signed by Doc Holiday of Tombstone.
I bet
The Humpback whale population has gone from nearly extinct to over 20,000; well sure, a species is bound to reproduce well if they have hump in their name. The “Get Some” whales are thriving as well.
The nerve
As with Charles Barkley's $400,000 bill, Dallas Cowboy troublemaker Pacman Jones barely missed criminal charges by paying an overdue Las Vegas Casino gambling debt for $20,000. These pampered athletes are handed loans of tens and – in Barkley’s case – hundreds of thousands of dollars and if they lose, they think they can just walk away. Who do they think they are, Hillary Clinton?
Get busier
“Maxim” magazine says the average man burns 125 calories having sex for one hour. According to Calories Per Hour.com, the average man burns 125 calories sitting in church for an hour. If you’re burning the same calories in church and having sex, you better pray you get better at sex.
Or
If a guy is burning the same amount of calories having sex as he does sitting in church, you do not want to sit in back of him in church.
Stream Line
A guy in Bulgaria has invented dual a urinal video game; the idea is to hit the targets with your urine stream. And, before you ask, no it isn’t available on Wii.
Either one
The movie “Sex and the City” opens in seven days; if you know that you either have a vagina or you have no interest in seeing one.
The movie “Sex and the City” opens soon, its about four hot women who have lots of sex in expensive New York apartments, they never work, they shop, go to clubs and eat brunch all day on weekends. That should be called “Sex For Hire in the City” these women have to be high class whores.
The movie “Sex and the City” opens in seven days; a lot of women identify their friends as the characters in “Sex in the City” like a Charlotte is sweet and innocent, a cynical hard worker is a Miranda, a Carrie is witty, fun and hip, and if you’re a Samantha, well, then you're a skank.
Speaking of Skanks
Another sex video of Paris Hilton has surfaced this time it shows Paris having sex in a bathtub; you think that’s wild? The bathtub is in a Home Depot show room display
Fool her once, shame on the guy filming her, fool her twice means Paris is too stupid to know the red light means the video camera is on.
Since you asked:
The History Channel featured an interesting special on the Comanche, probably the fiercest, bravest, meanest and most skilled riders and fighters in the West. Before the white man, they were the Indian equivalent of the white man. No prisoners, no compromise. Get off our land. We want it all and will kill you to have it. There were no good guys in the battle between Texas Rangers and Comanche’s.
The Comanches were but a small percentage of all Native Americans yet their image as savage and gallant fighters is what was used the majority of the time in Westerns. Nobody made a movie about the Chumash Indians gathering fruits and nuts along the Central Coast of California, which was far more typical of Native Americans than the shooting-arrows-from-underneath-a-galloping-horse Comanches.
Two things about the documentary struck me as interesting. By taking the fight to the White man with the same war philosophy of preemptive strikes and take no prisoners, the Comanches helped seal their own doom. By being too much alike, the Comanches and the Whites had no chance of ever getting along. Two bullies finally hooked up and the one with the most numbers won out.
The second thing that struck me about the Comanches was how they let their leaders pick themselves. If a warrior was the best fighter and men followed him into battle and won, he was chosen as the band’s leader, no questions asked. If a Comanche campaigned to be chosen a leader that would be the first thing that would eliminate him. Great leaders don’t want to be leaders. They are just born leaders.
We should learn from that in our own political system. If somebody is dying to get into office, that should be the first indication we don’t want them in that office. We should be able to take the most outstanding leader, whether he is in business or in the military, and say;
“Hey you, we’ve decided we would be the best off, as a country, if you were leading things. Congratulations, you're President.”
No mudslinging, no false promises, no lies, no manipulations, no horse pucky.
posted by Alex at
7:06 AM
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