That how we do, come on now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Murder Most Fowl (Apologies John Updike's Rabbit)
Pro Golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with intentionally killing a hawk which could carry a maximum 14-month jail sentence. Can you imagine if he goes to jail for killing a hawk with a golf ball? Let’s just say the other prisoners would be shooting more than par for that hole.


In Palm Florida, Bart Bryant held a one-shot lead in the rain-disrupted first round of the 5.3 million-dollar USPGA Tour event Thursday. But let’s be honest, any tournament without the smoking hot Tiger Woods is like going to a Wings concert without Paul McCartney.

But let’s be honest, any tournament without the smoking hot Tiger Woods is like going to watch “Caddy Shack” but getting “Caddy Shack 2” by mistake.


The Iditarod started Saturday. Now they test the dogs for steroids. None of the dogs has tested positive, but one dog was charged with assault after starting a fight in a strip club. His name was Pacwolf Jones.


Paris Hilton is launching a new line of shoes. The brand is called STIF. Not because they are too rigid, they are called STIF because on the inside they feature the instructions: Stick Toes In First.


“American Idol” is down to the final 12. Is it just me or does dreadlocked contestant Jason Castro look like the unholy spawn of Bob Marley and John Travolta?


A key aide for Barack Obama was quoted as calling Hillary Clinton a monster. Hillary was so upset upon hearing this she broke through her chains and stormed the village.