Monday, January 28, 2008

It’s yo, yo, not to be confused with a Yoyo, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Dunk this
Dunkin’ Donuts is going to open 100 stores in China; this explains their new donut, the Kung Pao donut with lead sprinkles.


How rainy is it?
Man has it been raining in California. In Malibu it rained so much Pamela Anderson married a squeegee distributor.



Man has it been raining in California. In Los Angeles it rained so hard two people were actually washed into a movie theater showing Jessica Simpson’s “Blonde Ambition.”



It was raining so hard in San Francisco, a couple of the Forty Niners players were accidentally washed into a weight room.


Ho flow
The prostitutes are flooding into Phoenix for the Super Bowl. There are so many hookers in Phoenix, the hookers left over in New York’s Times Square are bringing a whole new meaning to the term: getting backlogged.



The prostitutes are flooding into Phoenix for the Super Bowl. In fact, for the Super Bowl, the hookers in Phoenix are offering a Tom Brady Special: For an extra $100 you can Giselle their Bundchen.



These just in:



Did you know Jessica Simpson’s last movie, “Blonde Ambition” netted just barely $6,000 at the box office? That’s less than Jessica spent on therapy since getting dumped by Tony Romo.



Have you noticed how cranky, surly and testy Bill Clinton has been since he has been campaigning along with Hillary? Man, if I didn't know better I'd swear it’s almost like the poor guy's not getting any.