Drop it like it’s a thing you want to drop due to it’s excessively high temperature but are not worried about it breaking, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Pretty politician politely passed profess political pundits
Political pundits say Mitt Romney may be too good looking for voters to take seriously; I don't think so, if you ask me, I think Romney just looks like the Dad in the red sweater throwing the football in the L.L. Bean catalog.
The Brady Bill
Tabloid photographers claim New England QB, Tom Brady, spent 24 hours in a Manhattan apartment with super model Giselle Bundchen. As a result, Brady may miss the Super Bowl due to a hyper-extended Bundchen.
“I’m the King of the . . . oh, crap, there’s Tom Brady”
So get this. Tom Brady takes Giselle Bundchen out to a club in New York, sitting right near them was her ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio, but DiCaprio did not speak to Giselle. Well, duh. DiCaprio isn’t stupid. Brady is 6ft four, 225 lbs. He could snap Leonardo like a bread stick.
To give you an inkling as to how terrified Leonardo DiCaprio was of Tom Brady? Let’s just say the Titanic wasn’t the only thing that sprung a leak.
More QB romance
Jessica Simpson has been dumped by Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. It was a little embarrassing when they asked Jessica if there was a chance of reconciliation, Jessica said; “Sorry, no speakie lay French.”
Apparently Jessica would fly into a jealous rage every time Tony gently placed his hands under the center’s butt.
Loosely translated
Rock star Lenny Kravitz said he has not had sex in three years. It is interesting, because Kravitz is actually and old German word that means; “What the hell is the matter with you?”
Yikes
Have you seen the new hit show “Moment of Truth”? It is wild, husbands are put on a lie detector and asked probing questions in front of their wives. Or as Bill Clinton calls it: his worst nightmare.
Cheers, Britney
Trying to appear classier - which shouldn't be hard - Britney Spears has affected a really cheesy English accent. Not only that, but she’s renamed her trailer home Truckingham Palace.
Ew la la
Did you hear about the rogue financial trader in France? He blew over $7 billion dollars in bad trades for his bank Societe Generale. The guy flat out blew $7 billion dollars. Even M.C. Hammer said “Damn.”
Imagine how much he would have lost if the French worked during the summer?
Lucky for him, he has already spent his Christmas bonus.
Man, when I worked at McDonalds I dropped a Filet-O-Fish and they took it out of my pay.
It turns out the guy had a history of being rude, lazy and careless. In other words: French.
When French President Nicolas Sarkozy heard about this he was so shocked he fell off of Carla Bruni.
Since you asked:
The New York Giants are starting to remind me of the old New York Jets in 1969. Nobody, and I mean nobody gave them a chance. People lined up like spectators at the Coliseum in Rome to watch the inevitable slaughter of the cocky upstart Jets, especially that punk, Joe Namath. The Baltimore Colts took the Jets for granted and, feeling like they had absolutely nothing to lose, the Jets played much more relaxed and won pretty big.
Afterwards the Jets were amazed at the cockiness of, not only the Colts, but the entire NFL – at the time the Jets were in the old AFL – and the press who covered the game. Time after time Jets players wondered why the hell everyone thought they would get destroyed? These players played college football with the same players that were in the NFL, it’s not like they played a different sport as if a bunch of soccer players were trying to field a football team. They were just as big and fast.
Same with the Giants. No doubt, take the Giants and get the points early before they drop.
Lex’s Illness Update:
Warning, I am, and have always been, an impenitent – how about that word, huh? – body symptom describer. Any bruise, cut, infection, cold, unusual digestive turn, flu I get I will describe at nauseating length and detail to anyone who will listen, which is, generally speaking, nobody in their right mind.
But this cold, as they have all been doing lately, just invaded and took over my lungs like a horde of Vikings on an English village. Now I know how Keith Richards feels all the time and it isn’t fun. I was supposed to play harp tonight with my band, the Railheads, but there is no chance in hell I could have made it through one song without sounding like Jacob Marley rasping out his last words of warning for Scrooge to repent.
(That movie, actually, is where I got the word impenitent. "It's not that I'm impenitent, it's just that I am too old")
Pretty politician politely passed profess political pundits
Political pundits say Mitt Romney may be too good looking for voters to take seriously; I don't think so, if you ask me, I think Romney just looks like the Dad in the red sweater throwing the football in the L.L. Bean catalog.
The Brady Bill
Tabloid photographers claim New England QB, Tom Brady, spent 24 hours in a Manhattan apartment with super model Giselle Bundchen. As a result, Brady may miss the Super Bowl due to a hyper-extended Bundchen.
“I’m the King of the . . . oh, crap, there’s Tom Brady”
So get this. Tom Brady takes Giselle Bundchen out to a club in New York, sitting right near them was her ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio, but DiCaprio did not speak to Giselle. Well, duh. DiCaprio isn’t stupid. Brady is 6ft four, 225 lbs. He could snap Leonardo like a bread stick.
To give you an inkling as to how terrified Leonardo DiCaprio was of Tom Brady? Let’s just say the Titanic wasn’t the only thing that sprung a leak.
More QB romance
Jessica Simpson has been dumped by Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. It was a little embarrassing when they asked Jessica if there was a chance of reconciliation, Jessica said; “Sorry, no speakie lay French.”
Apparently Jessica would fly into a jealous rage every time Tony gently placed his hands under the center’s butt.
Loosely translated
Rock star Lenny Kravitz said he has not had sex in three years. It is interesting, because Kravitz is actually and old German word that means; “What the hell is the matter with you?”
Yikes
Have you seen the new hit show “Moment of Truth”? It is wild, husbands are put on a lie detector and asked probing questions in front of their wives. Or as Bill Clinton calls it: his worst nightmare.
Cheers, Britney
Trying to appear classier - which shouldn't be hard - Britney Spears has affected a really cheesy English accent. Not only that, but she’s renamed her trailer home Truckingham Palace.
Ew la la
Did you hear about the rogue financial trader in France? He blew over $7 billion dollars in bad trades for his bank Societe Generale. The guy flat out blew $7 billion dollars. Even M.C. Hammer said “Damn.”
Imagine how much he would have lost if the French worked during the summer?
Lucky for him, he has already spent his Christmas bonus.
Man, when I worked at McDonalds I dropped a Filet-O-Fish and they took it out of my pay.
It turns out the guy had a history of being rude, lazy and careless. In other words: French.
When French President Nicolas Sarkozy heard about this he was so shocked he fell off of Carla Bruni.
Since you asked:
The New York Giants are starting to remind me of the old New York Jets in 1969. Nobody, and I mean nobody gave them a chance. People lined up like spectators at the Coliseum in Rome to watch the inevitable slaughter of the cocky upstart Jets, especially that punk, Joe Namath. The Baltimore Colts took the Jets for granted and, feeling like they had absolutely nothing to lose, the Jets played much more relaxed and won pretty big.
Afterwards the Jets were amazed at the cockiness of, not only the Colts, but the entire NFL – at the time the Jets were in the old AFL – and the press who covered the game. Time after time Jets players wondered why the hell everyone thought they would get destroyed? These players played college football with the same players that were in the NFL, it’s not like they played a different sport as if a bunch of soccer players were trying to field a football team. They were just as big and fast.
Same with the Giants. No doubt, take the Giants and get the points early before they drop.
Lex’s Illness Update:
Warning, I am, and have always been, an impenitent – how about that word, huh? – body symptom describer. Any bruise, cut, infection, cold, unusual digestive turn, flu I get I will describe at nauseating length and detail to anyone who will listen, which is, generally speaking, nobody in their right mind.
But this cold, as they have all been doing lately, just invaded and took over my lungs like a horde of Vikings on an English village. Now I know how Keith Richards feels all the time and it isn’t fun. I was supposed to play harp tonight with my band, the Railheads, but there is no chance in hell I could have made it through one song without sounding like Jacob Marley rasping out his last words of warning for Scrooge to repent.
(That movie, actually, is where I got the word impenitent. "It's not that I'm impenitent, it's just that I am too old")
posted by Alex at
2:50 PM
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