Friday, October 12, 2007

It smack daddy up and got right hinky on our dibjab, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Looking good

Did you see the “Sixty Minutes” interview of Bruce Springsteen? He looks great for 58. At first I thought “Why are they showing a 1968 interview of Keith Richards?”

That figures
In college football, #1 USC lost to unranked Stanford. USC was favored by 41 points over Stanford. USC was favored by 4I points. It’s the opposite of when the students take IQ tests.

So far so good
Congratulations to Los Angeles area drivers, it is day six of Lindsay Lohan’s rehab release and you are still alive. Keep up the good work.

Come on, bring it here
An arbitrator ruled that the Atlanta Falcons can get their $20 million dollar bonus back from Michael Vick; wow, how great is that? The world’s most expensive game of fetch.

Or something like that
An article in “Details” magazine claims it is a myth that gay men dress better than straight men; I believe the name of the article is “The Richard Simmons Story.”

Not good
After years of denials, Olympic gold medal winning sprinter Marion Jones finally admitted she used steroids. She had to give back her Olympic medals. Actually, they were confiscated at gun point by OJ Simpson.

Is it donut or doughnut?
A man in Missouri faces thirty years in prison, on his third strike, for stealing a donut. The man denied that he stole the donut and today OJ Simpson offered to help him find the real crullers.

A man in Missouri faces thirty years in prison, on his third strike, for stealing a donut. How would you like to be that guy in prison? “What are you in for?” “Maple glazed.”

A sure sign
Olympic gold medal winning sprinter Marion Jones finally admitted she used steroids. Jones finally decided to stop using steroids right about when her testicles began to shrink.

How old is he?
The Carolina Panthers signed retired 43-year-old quarterback Vinny Testaverde. This could be tricky. Testaverde is so old he wears his pants so high you can’t see his number.

The Carolina Panthers signed retired 43-year-old quarterback Vinny Testaverde. Testaverde is so old, instead of yelling out audible at the line of scrimmage, he yells; “You punks get off my lawn.”

The Carolina Panthers signed retired 43-year-old quarterback Vinny Testaverde. Vinny is so old he is actually called Vinny. Young quarterbacks now are named Carson, Eli, Peyton, Brady, Rex and Alex. Guys named Vinny play shuffleboard in Miami.

Since you asked:
We live in amazing time, Slats and Nugglies.

As you know, it is a fine, enlightened time when they conjure back and promote the wonderful sport that is standup paddleboarding. Although it has been a few weeks since I’ve done it, I am hooked. But alas, I had been unable to find a board to my liking to buy so that put me in the annoying position of borrowing boards or renting them and there are few to rent.

Thursday, at about one o’clock pm, I decide to check out eBay to see what they have. Low and behold up pops a beautiful yellow, blue and white board. (For a while I thought I would order a custom board just so I could have it in my beloved UCSB school colors of yellow and blue)

But is the beautiful yellow and blue board the right size? Sure enough it is. 30 inches wide and five inches deep, 12 feet long. Perfect for general cruising and riding waves. When I get better at riding waves I can get a smaller more maneuverable board, but for now this one was perfect.

So I find the guy’s number and call. Sure enough he is in Anaheim, just over an hour up the 5. The board got some dings in it when it was shipped so the guy gave me an incredible deal. Most SUB (standup boards) are a minimum of $1500 plain.

This board was the right size, the right color and he added great deck pads, a leash, a board bag and car rack pads and straps all for just over $1000. They opened up at 9:30 am and I was there panting when the door opened. I was gone by 10:00 and in the surf with my dream board in Del Mar by Noon the next day.

Of course the water was too cold, as I didn't have a wetsuit, and the waves were six foot crashers, so I came right back out, but you got the idea.