We did right by Vinny’s memory last night but not to our heads this morning, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Big night
A Japanese man, Yosuke Ochi, won the air guitar championship in Finland. It was a big day for Ochi. Two hours after winning the air guitar championship, Ochi also won the Sex-with-an-air-groupie contest.

After this Ochi will prepare to compete in an Air “Get-a-life” contest.

So what?
The Atlanta Falcons got hammered by the Minnesota Vikings Sunday 24-3. But Michael Vick doesn’t care. He didn’t have a dog in that fight.

So sad
Britney Spears tried to make her comeback at the MTV Music Video Awards in Las Vegas; it didn’t go well. In fact, Britney did everything she could to ruin her career short of organizing and betting on dog fights.

Even Sanjaya’s hair had a hard time watching it.

Where is Mia when you need her?
At the Women’s World Cup soccer Championship in China, in a mild upset, North Korea tied the U.S. 2-2. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il was so excited he fell off his booster seat.

Oops, I did it again . . .
Britney Spears tried to make her comeback at the MTV Music Video Awards in Las Vegas; it didn’t go well. In fact, her performance was so weak, listless and lazy, she had to change her name to Kevin Federline.

Britney Spears tried to make her comeback at the MTV Music Video Awards in Las Vegas; it didn’t go well. You had a feeling Britney’s lip-synching wasn’t going to go well when she dedicated her performance to Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli.

Britney Spears tried to make her comeback at the MTV Music Video Awards in Las Vegas; it didn’t go well. They showed rapper 50 Cent in the audience cringing. You know a performance is bad when a guy who has been shot nine times can’t take it.

Just doesn’t make any sense
A New England Patriots employee had a video camera confiscated and the NFL is investigating if he was spying on the New York Jets. That’s silly. Why would he spy on the Jets when he could be snooping on Tom Brady’s super models?

Pretty sure that wasn’t the cause
Kid Rock and Tommy Lee got in a fight backstage at the MTV Music Video Awards. We’re not sure what the fight was about but we can rule out it was over who joined Mensa first.

This just in:
Apple has announced they have a new iPod. It has more memory, it’s smaller, costs less, can hold more songs, it can show movies, it . . . Wait, this just in, since I started telling this joke, Apple has announced they have an even newer iPod.

Let’s rule that one out right now
The excuses are starting to come out from Britney Spears’s camp for her horrible MTV Music Video Award performance. Britney was upset about jokes, they didn’t let her do the dance she wanted to do. One thing we do know, it wasn’t because her underwear was too tight.,

Since you asked:
Lex has a new pet peeve. Warning, now that you are aware of this you will run into it everywhere all the time.

What is it with people who see that you are waiting for them to pull out of a parking spot – either I want it or I am being nice and letting them go ahead– and they see you stopped, clearly not moving and just as clearly waiting for them to pull out- but they wait for you to go by anyway? Doofus, Dorkmeister, I wouldn’t be stopped if I didn’t want to let you get out first, so stop waiting and GO.

And then when they stop so long you finally decide, oh screw this idiot, I am going to go past them, then the pull out.

And what is the deal with their pulling out one foot every ten seconds? What are they afraid of? Not only aren’t you moving and you can’t hit them while you wait, you are blocking anyone else from possibly hitting them. So step on it, Slappy.