Monday, August 27, 2007

We threw down the throw down this weekendizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The Fragrance of not caring
Soccer star David Beckham has a new male fragrance. If the fragrance is for American sports fans it should be called: Indifference.

Soccer star David Beckham has a new male fragrance. I tried it but I didn’t like it. As soon as I put on the Beckham cologne, I sprained my ankle and had to sit down.

Go get it
Due to this dog fighting charges, the Atlanta Falcons want Michael Vick to give back his $22 mil bonus. This could result in the world’s most expensive game of fetch.

How rainy is it?
It has been so rainy in New York City, three Yankee pitchers accidentally floated back to Cuba.

Katie bar the door
A new tell-all biography on Katie Couric, “Katie: The Real Story” by Edward Klein, reveals a much darker side of the perky former “Today Show” host. How bad is it? It turns out the broadcast of her colonoscopy may have showed Katie's best side.

At the World Track and Field Championship, the US’s Tyson Gay won the 100 meters and the title “The World’s Fastest Man.” In fact, he is the fastest Gay since Pier One opened their doors for their end-of-summer sale.

Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales will resign, it was more than a little awkward when President Bush first heard Alberto Gonzales will resign. Bush said; “That’s too bad, he was the speediest cartoon mouse in Mexico.”

The last refuge of a scoundrel
At his press after pleading guilty to dog fighting charges, Michael Vick announced he has found Jesus. At which point, Jesus told Michael Vick: "Uh, thanks, but no thanks, I'm good. Pass."

Since you asked:
Our two nutty yellow Labradors, Kasey and Wrigley, love their Kongs. For those who don’t have dogs, Kongs are seven inch by five inch red bell-shaped hard rubber dog toys that are hollow enough to stuff treats with peanut butter inside. They use their little paws like hands to hold it while they chew, lick and then pick them up to bounce out the bone shaped dog biscuit inside.

But as soon as you give them their Kongs, Wrigley starts to eye Kasey’s Kong in the ultimate “the grass is greener” display of canine coveting.

“As soon as you give Wrigley his Kong, he wants Kasey’s Kong.” I said. Just-turned-nine Ann Caroline said;

“And as soon as he has Kasey’s, he wants his back again.”

When did cute little girls get so observant and wise?

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Let’s play a new game called:

Lex Isn’t As Smart As He Thinks He Is

Every time I come from the gym still listening to my iPod, I am amazed that it keeps playing when I turn the car off.

While working out to my iPod, I was shocked at all the songs that it played in a row that featured running in it. Then I remembered I was listening to a playlist I made for running.

I actually picked a carton of Fat Free milk over a carton of Non-fat milk because it had the word free.

While watching a DVR recorded Chicago Cubs game, I started cheering for a late game rally by the Cubs in a game I knew they were going to lose 3-1.

No matter how many times I tell my brain that the five-foot Leopard sharks that patrol the waters in the La Jolla Shores are harmless bottom-feeders, they still spook the hell out of me when they slow-serpentine-cruise-all- shark-like right underneath my Stand Up Paddleboard.

When an internet page is slow to form and I got frustrated and click the corner X to dump it, it comes all the way in and I still hope it will forget that I canned it. It doesn't forget.