Friday, May 11, 2007

We up on a hill and in they grill, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Mon ami
Did you see “American Idol” last Tuesday night? What was the deal with Blake’s hair? Was his Dad Pepi Le Pew?

Monica?
Former President Bill Clinton wrote a crossword puzzle for the New York Times. And you won’t believe what he has for 69 down.

“No Honey, covering up a deceitful act, that’s called a snow job.”

Former President Bill Clinton wrote a crossword puzzle for the New York Times. “No, honey, a seven letter word for device used to torture and humiliate is Pillory, not Hillary.”


Sir old guy
The Royal couple is in the United States and they visited the Kentucky Derby.. I don’t want to say Prince Phillip is old, but when asked what he wears under his kilt, he replied; “Depends.”

Corsage time
It is high school prom time again. This can be a painful time for high school boys. It hurts to be rejected by a women, especially when she isn’t even the hottest teacher you have.

Its prom time again. To be blunt, I have horrible prom memories. My date dumped me for an old effeminate looking gun wielding music producer.

Its prom time again. To be blunt, I have horrible prom memories. My date dumped me to marry a gay New Jersey governor.

Proper jail etiquette
Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. This is serious, Paris even called Martha Stewart to ask whether you send a handwritten or typed “Get Well” card after you shiv a snitch.

Buck up, Sir
There was an awkward moment when Queen Elizabeth was in the White House. The Queen overheard Bush’s advisor say; “I know you’re disappointed, Sir, but you have to meet her even if she isn’t the mother of Fiona.”

There was an awkward moment when Queen Elizabeth was in the White House. President Bush told her royal majesty; “You know we have a Queen. His name is Richard Simmons.”

France pants
France elected conservative, Nicolas Sarkozy, President, because he promises to make France more productive by working harder. So what’s the first thing Sarkozy does? He takes a vacation on a yacht. It’s too bad the French don’t have a sense of humor, they would crack themselves up.